P I X I E D U S T ♔

meetmeforjustfiveminutes

2012-01-29T16:07:00.001+11:00

...but please remember me forever <3

wrote an emotional prose yesterday after getting tired of writing fanfics and fantasy short stories and having been randomly prompted by trax's song oh my goddess (thank you nachan). so not used to writing time-travelling stories. so confusing. i keep asking myself questions like "but if he knew that this was going to happen and he changes it won't it not happen then and technically he would'nt have known?" and then slap myself. ><;

other than that, im here to put it out there that i probably wont be blogging properly for the next two years. i think id prefer to spend my time writing stories than recounting my life since time is limited. but... ill be back. :D

weweremadeforwar

2012-01-14T03:21:00.000+11:00

i really dont have that much to say, even though ive neglected this blog for month or two now.

but today, i dont feel like remembering all thats happened in the past few weeks and typing it (what's the point right? haha) but i realised that while they were there, everything that happened... and now they're not and next year it's like completely wiped away... i really don't know what to say. i can't really get over it. it's going to be hard getting used to a school that suddenly feels so empty... because as cute and as ignorant as they are... year 7s kind of dont make up for the missing year-long friends that wont be there anymore.

waaaah i wish they werent so old and all studying med and everything. and i really, really hope with all my heart that somewhere in the future, our paths will cross again. because already, i miss them so, so much.

why do i keep missing people and things haha. should be looking forward to stuff and like you'd think having only had 16 years on this earth there wouldnt be so many things to miss but... apparently not the case. :S

wishyouwerehere

2011-12-14T21:05:00.000+11:00

i don't really know what's triggering these sentimental thoughts but today, i am missing a few things.

i miss my grandmother. i hope that from above she can see everything and the happy lives we're living now and be happy for us too. i took her dear love for granted when she was alive but with much thanks to her, i am trying my best to appreciate my family. her wake-up call was strong and still lingers so much in me, even many years on.

i miss childhood. as we get older, we're forced into taking many parts of life seriously and from a more mature perspective. i love the privileges that come with growing up but already i am missing times when i was even younger. when life was even more carefree than now. but because of this, i will also try and appreciate every single moment of now and make the best of it all so that i wont regret it later on.

and i miss my childhood friends and church friends that have left. every single one of them. anyone that ive had fond memories with, i am thinking of now. i wish we could hang more, talk more but it seems that our lives just get busier, not better. but in the least, we have these memories. i am going to make an effort this holidays to hopefully catch up and spend time with people i dont normally spend time with - instead of wasting my life on generic outings (so please dont get me wrong if i end up turning a few down this hols)

on another note. if i ever meet jo youngmin in real life. well. the squealing came from me. just remember that. loooool.

alliwantforchristmas

2011-12-08T20:50:00.000+11:00

i bought a scoupon for my parents to go eat prawn at harbourside this month... the instant i bought it i felt so good hahaha... the guilt for going to a friends bday party when it was my dad's bday has worn off. and i mean like technically, we wouldn't have done anything anyway because dad always celebrates his birthday with my mum but i guess it was pretty slack not to be home. ill keep that in mind for next year ):

i was going to post about jay chou's new album but um, yeah i just really don't think that's possible with infinite's new single out hahahaha. they filmed it in Japan!!! and omg its like a part of Japan ive been too so i felt so happy hahahahaha. and as much as i love my yeolliepop... L has to be the most handsome guy on the planet hands down. dlsgwekajfle;jwae

haha i think its time to grab a few friends, some drinks, a good movie, share some gifts under the tree and contemplate about this year and next year. hope this year's xmas and nye will be sweet and memorable. for all we know, it could be the last. ♥

whywhy...whywhy...whywhy..

2011-11-29T13:03:00.000+11:00

like, no joke, it was instant love with this song. neverland took a little while to get into but this song was :D from the very very first time i listened to it. i might get the album, along with infinite's jap albums because i like it so much haha. but aaaaah u-kiss. they never get the full recognition they deserve but they really are one of the best. but to be honest, my favourite is still 0330. followed by this song, followed by manmanhani and all the other ones were about the same. because the 0330 concept seemed to suit all of them, i notice that dongho, xander and sometimes kiseop just aren't versitile enough to fit into every single concept they can think of for u-kiss. like they still look good but some shots make them look a little out of place. and its not their fault, its just their faces haha. kevin however... omg. ==" i have yet to see a non-perfect photo, mv or tweet or anything with him in it. zzzzzzzzzz perfection right there. :O

whatisthisfeeling

2011-11-26T13:42:00.000+11:00

mymyohmy, this is the tune for xmas this year... even though its not even strictly xmassy haha (;

"dear boy, i fell in love on a snowy day" -MYMY (Apink)

turningonthebrokenlight

2011-11-25T01:14:00.000+11:00

tick tack tick tack. what's up with nothing being everything and everything being the whole package these days?

iwishiwasashappyasmysmile

2011-11-23T01:30:00.000+11:00

just like the title says. when you're happy, you take happy luvos. but when you're sad, you'd still take happy luvos. but i guess when im sad, i dont take luvos at all. so i just collage my past luvos and wish that i was in the same happy mood.

pastelmepretty

2011-11-20T01:42:00.001+11:00

"baby girl just put your sunnies on and hide all that's underneath."

"oh, these times are hard. yeah they're making us crazy, don't give us on me baby" -For the First Time (The Script)

twistingpaperintosnow

2011-11-15T22:58:00.000+11:00

okay i dont know anymore, i just dont know. blog, i feel like ranting to you because i want to let it out a little. so readers (if there are any) just ignore. it's almost like living a double life - im having the worst month internally but on the outside im still me. and it feels like i always have to be 'me' on the outside... tbh avoiding questions and eyebrows is probably reason enough. and then its like why. why does it have to happen every single time. it's like i dont feel good enough? or different? or because im trying to be good enough but im not? or something? and what on earth is happening to what we had and what we all used to be? am i too fast or are you too slow? i wish i was one or the other, not stuck in between. not forced to chose or try to be both. i always used to be able to convince myself but now im finding it hard. its always hard when you cant find evidence, cant see results, that kind of thing. im sure ive been annoying a lot of people lately. i tend to do that when i feel crap on the inside... i just become so superficial on the outside to cover it. but on the inside, im thinking. and thinking. and i really don't know what it is this time but its bugging me, and its hurting me. so just a heads up if you're reading this - id stay away from me for the next few days/weeks if i were you. for your own safety.

pleasebelieveme

2011-11-15T02:34:00.000+11:00

i really hate how everything revolves around facebook nowdays. tbh, i really want to deactivate but its like, i cant because its so important for communication. but im getting more and more paranoid on it, so ive decided to a clean-up. slowing removing all my photos, deleting all my notes and seriously modifying all my privacy settings etc.

maybe its the weather, but im in the worst mood right now. not angry, not sad not anything. just really short. ): gjdkafjelawfjelak;jelwa zzzzzzzzz

downrightdisbelief

2011-11-14T01:24:00.001+11:00

for people wanting to know about friday night... it was awkward but met a few people (:

for people wanting to know about SATURDAY:

it actually wasn't the best day of my life haha. guys im not that crazy for kpop. especially when infinite and u-kiss both aren't there roflmao. but i did end up losing my voice for an hour or two after the mad screaming for BEAST, 2AM and MBLAQ zzzzzzz they were SOOOOOO good! i loved the performances even though our seats turned out to be pretty bad ): and meeting cool people from flash mob, from other schools, especially audrey was really, really awesome. :D

but omg... there is one thing that i came on especially to blog about loool. there is this guy... if i was the type to get into a fling... he's seriously be it. looool! smiles so much and has the cutest smile, smells like shampoo and the way he talks... he ticks so many boxes hahahaha. he makes you "awwwww" inside every time you talk to him even though he's really tough and everything haha. but then, a lot of koreans are like that i guess. i seriously, seriously, just want to squish him but yes ill probably get bashed if i did that looool. and id hug him but he'd get the wrong message. yup. story of my life loool. okay, ill shut up now. ):

eraseyoulikecleansingcream

2011-11-05T22:15:00.000+11:00

interesting points these past few days. korean textbooks arrived = more homework from tannie. spent $600 off g-market... now owes mum $1200... is owed $950 by random people... which means i still owe mum $250. and that was all on bb creams... because i like collecting them so much. ): lastly, ive become addicted to language jokes - especially ones dissing the complexity of the english language haha. im happy that i know english and mandarin... because after those two, it really does feel like im invinsible to learn anything else. chyeah. loool. so up myself today.

wishingforawhitechristmas

2011-11-01T17:21:00.000+11:00

lol omg im so out of season... posting summer things in winter and winter things in summer. but these boots are so gorjuss :O

and i never thought id say this but... justin bieber has gotten so good that i actually like him now. i grossed at baby but some of his other songs were okay but this ones going to be playing a lot xmas '11 - count on it (;

apairofinvisiblewings

2011-10-31T00:36:00.000+11:00

"我知道　我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞　给我希望
我终於看到　所有梦想都开花
追逐的年轻歌声多嘹亮" -Invisible Wings (Angela Zhang)

i love this song a lot because it reminds me of God. (: and i also get really soft and teary sometimes when i listen to it, because it makes me feel nostalgic about China.

sometimes, i close my eyes and think about where i would be if i had never left China. i have no regrets but i doubt i would've had any if i had stayed either. the world these days focuses too much on China as a suppressive country, filled with billions of people and corruption. i guess i can understand these kind of thoughts coming from people who have always lived in a country with democracy. but to me, China is still a beautiful country. not everyone there is cold hearted and communism isn't a system without its positives. just like how democracy isn't a system without its flaws.

i don't like it when people ask me whether i prefer Australia or China. because to be honest, Australia is a country I have lived in but China was the country I was born in. i love Australia but even when i become a citizen, even now when i have barely just lived here longer than i lived in China, I could never become truly Australian, because I'm Chinese. so i can't really prefer anything. both countries are fun and comfortable places to live in and i would feel privileged either way but - kind of like how turtles and crabs go back to the place they were born to mate, China and I... we're homies from the heart. (;

as for whether i prefer using english or chinese - id have to say it depends with who. because in australia, its a lot easier to use english most of the time because a lot of the things i try to describe translate into pretty weird things in chinese. but its the other way round in china or when talking about chinese things. but id say that im equally fluent in both but probably a lot more eloquent in english haha.

reasoniclosemyeyes

2011-10-27T19:03:00.000+11:00

since we've all been raving about formal dresses lately, ill put in my mediocre two cents as well. haha well i handled the dress and shoes with $80 so im working with about $20 for either jewellery or a clutch (i suppose ill have to reuse stuff for one or the other) so then the formal will cost $150 with the ticket... which is not too bad i guess. but aish. im too broke for formals ): and everyones buying really pretty dresses and shoes that i can't afford fml. ): i swear im going to be so devos on the night that upon seeing everyone, ill just go home roflmao. ): i was almost almost going to not wear this dress for formal and save it for a better occasion because its the ruuuse school formal in the school hall with baulko green tablecloth (no offence baulko haha but admit it, even you guys wouldn't use your uniform as tablecloths, right?). like it wasn't even 'expensive'... $50 for a dress but like i said, i am broke haha. so i was just going to rage through my collection of party dresses and wear one of my unworn $10-$20 dresses because at one stage i really did think the formal was that insignificant haha. but then i saw the invitation designed by michelle and was convinced that it could actually go well. the first artistic piece ive seen of the formal yay. and im doing my own hair and makeup because im just too cheap to go anywhere to get it done but tannie has offered to help me if she's available that afternoon... oooh friends like her... *holds back tears*

aaaaanyway. i bought my dress online, it's by luxyqueen, a relatively nondescript korean brand. and my shoes were also online but off my friend's supplier store because its her uncles. for those who haven't heard yet, all the girls in year 10 are posting descriptions and pictures of their dresses and shoes up on tumblr so that other people won't get the same things, if you haven't heard yet heres the link... so go! hehe:

http://alldressedup-ruse13.tumblr.com/ (you'll need a password, so message me ^^)

but if you're wondering which ones mine, don't bother. im not putting anything up there because i am willing to bet quite a lot of money that i dont have that nobody is going to come in the same thing haha. but it has made me feel extremely lame in comparison already. ): but everyones going to be so pretty on the night :D cept me in my el cheapo formal clothing. ;____;

changing the subject lol, the more i listen to korean ballads, the more i realise they're like english ballads haha. one in ten will have original lyrics that are actually touching while the clicheness of the other 9 will either cause me to immediately switch the song or glare at it in disappointment haha. i have such a high standard for ballads... now even korean ones because im starting to understand bits and pieces and the same words and phrases keep coming up over and over again. gosh. have a story! :L :L :L

ifluckcouldsolveproblems

2011-10-26T22:52:00.000+11:00

gracicles, if you see this, i agree with your blogpost about exams! it also took me failure and time to figure out the important things in life. not saying we shouldn't work hard of course haha but that after we do, we should be content with what we can and cannot do. (:

sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in a person's heart. there are some really simple things people have done for me that i will never, ever forget. thank you. (:

today, i am especially grateful for person x and person y. person x you are so easy to talk to. just the simple fact that i can have conversations with you makes me happy. the two of you lately have helped me keep my perspective broad and not locked up inside of ruse. like, really. more than ever i have realised what the rest of the world is like. also thankful for church family, for being supportive and helpful.

blueandwhiteporcelain

2011-10-25T21:50:00.000+11:00

i was enlightened today and had the pleasure of having one of the most beautiful conversations for a while now. it wasn't a long conversation but what jaesoo and i talked about really stuck. and since it's amnesty's multicultural week and everything, it was i guess perfect timing too. that every culture is imperfect and we went around listing a million things wrong with like a lot of cultures we could think of but then were like in exciting agreement over the fact that there are so many stereotypes and that yes, stereotypes come from somewhere but a lot of the time they can also be wrong. we also talked about hallyu and how south korean pop culture literally took the world in a wave and how because of it everyone now thinks everyone and everything korean is perfect. i obviously said nothing but haha jaesoo omg if you know him... just kept talking... and expressing his loathe at those kinds of people. but hes right, i would never want my own culture to be considered 'perfect' because... well what if you're of that culture and you don't live up to its expectations? apparently a lot of his friends who aren't 'really korean' get judged because they don't look and dress and act like kpop idols and we were full excited about how that was so slack and everything haha. but yeah, it's what ive thought for a long time too i guess. i havent really spoken about it because like most koreans... i dont know loool if i said that they weren't perfect they'd probably bash me up haha jks jks. but yup i felt like so relieved that another korean thought so. i was like omg. thank you. haha. and like no jokes i would say the same about any country. not all japanese girls are sluts because their uniform is short, or like anime and manga. not all chinese people are good at maths and worship mao. etc etc. like far out haha. but jaesoo isn't like one of those koreans who hates korea (not that there are many of those roflmao). but like i seriously think ive found my soulmate, because he said "but it's not just korea i like, its basically anything asian. (not that he hates stuff not asian)". like yup, to like asia as a collective and not like have arguments over which asian country is better etc. wish asians would just like be nice to each other and love each other as a whole group instead of fighting each other and when that doesn't work - turn whitewashed. ==" like goodness me, be proud of where you come from but also be proud of where other people come from and be proud of people from everywhere else in the world too. what's the point of all the stereotypes and fighting? every cultures imperfect, but good.

yup, but the thing that stuck was when he said "i like faces like yours because it looks really oriental. and you're also one of the coolest people i know because you're oriental and still believe in ~~asia~~ rice" it stuck because it made me realise, the very fact that people are asian already gives them a special type of coolness haha. mn, well apparently i look like one of those traditional chinese women from the old days. he's like "duuuude do you even belong in the 20th century?" fml hahaha.

we got our maths and science marks back today. maths was a bit rofl because like - everyone was like "don't worry! you'll get so good!" and i was like "no, seriously, i won't" and they're all like "don't worry, you're super good at maths/super smart/ruse" etc. and im like "no, seriously, im just not good at maths" and yup guess what? i actually didn't get good so suck on that hahahaha. lol well, people expect more more from me than i can actually handle because i got into MTU by accident. so im hoping for something like 90th... and the fact that i can get that... and its basically an average of all my other ranks from previous years minus the miraculous 40 that got me into a better maths class than i should be in... means im maintaining... so like im not even disappointed. i was for half yearlies because i dropped quite a bit but if i can just get to 90th ish then ill be content. and i mean, tbh i haven't given maths my 100% yet (maybe like 90% haha) (yeah even now ==") so time to study with benben in the library more haha! if i can just be in MT7 and not get kicked out of 3U then ill be super happy. :D and like science kind of made me a little devo because i made a lot of silly mistakes in multiple choice and the boxy answer section haha... waaaah must improve! in like everything haha! now hoping for a pass in PE and for the marker of the creative writing in english to be a bit more open minded and forgive me for trolling them. :3

everylookwillmakeithardtobreathe

2011-10-22T20:51:00.000+11:00

hahahaha seriously after exams, the driest things are so so funny. :L

have to pre-order infinite's japanese btd album soon (:

oh i think i half get why im so addicted to snsd's song/rap roflmao. it's because its fully in english and the lyrics are semi-shallow. maybe im missing non-asian pop music after all haha. but i dont think so. because non-asian pop music these days... *shivers*... they'll say and imply way more than "girls bring the boys out". i suppose thats the shame of it. i listened to classical in the morning and literally just sat there for an hour not moving and eating potato crackers. i wasnt even watching anything... i love this post exam laziness haha. then i caught up on a lot of infinite varieties and yup. now im here haha. nothing constructive - duh.

loveismove

2011-10-22T01:55:00.000+11:00

haha poor secret. the song is catchy but the chonglish makes it cute instead of sexy :L

okay i never really had anything against snsd but i didn't have anything against them. but i really like "the boys". such a catchy song haha. ive noticed that i like rap. -awks- never thought id fall to the dark side. especially not thanks to snsd's rap haha. but tannie wins after all. :/

what's with kpop and awkward maths references though? "we aim for more than 0... number 1..." um yup loool. girls bring the boys out... ba-bring the boys out! one of the only songs by a girl groups thats made me feel super awesome haha. i might even buy an snsd album just once... we'll have to see (;

yup i know before you say cool story bro, arent you glad that im blogging again? hehe did you miss me? yup i studied during exam week this time instead of watching random variety tv haha. yeah take your step back haha. i cant talk about what happened during the week because literally nothing happened. it was just study-exam-study-exam. ):

however, lool. im going to update all my social networking dps soon. ~~await~~ escape from my upcoming luvos. :L

Lord please watch over my friends and help them see... I'm worried.

startthecountdown

2011-10-14T11:57:00.000+11:00

heeeeere we gooooo. last post until maybe next thursday night. won't be on the computer starting monday. ill fb and text you guys from my phone. (:

infinitewinsmcountdown

2011-10-14T00:24:00.001+11:00

i have a confession today. from as young as i can remember up until now, i've never had an idol or anyone that ive looked up to. i used to think it was stupid - wanting to become like some and get to their standards. almost like living their life.

but today, i have come to realise that i have one now - infinite. i don't want to say this from a fangirly perspective because in reality, my feelings towards them are not like that. through the years, music and artists have given me countless hours of fun and helped me manage my emotions when they're on the brink of going overboard. a lot of people and groups have caught my attention because of their talent, looks, personality, style etc. etc. i acknowledged all their hard work and loved them simply because they gave me so much joy. yes - i would die without music. ive partied to techno and loved djs, ive cried at classical concerts and have fell in love with many pianists and violinists and of course ive smiled so much at pop music and ballads. but until today, it was just love for music and they weren't my idols.

but now, i look up to infinite. in literally the few months that ive known them, ive grown to love them so much. i won't pretend that i know them in real life because obviously i dont. and im not ignorant to think that everything in variety tv isn't scripted. but ive been into kpop on and off for something 6 years now to know how to tell when they're faking it. you can tell infinite for most part isn't. it's easy to see that they exaggerate a lot of things to make them more funny for the sake of the program but in the end, their personalities are brilliant. but it's not because of that, because many groups are like that.

i respect them for opening my eyes. that everyone has their own problems - kpop idols or not. ive been ranting so much about how they're always in sync, vocals are always so good but i didn't know how much harder they had to work for it. yes, even compared to other groups. after watching sesame player today, i had the biggest emotional sob session this year. being an idol must be hard. the entire world knows only the perfect side them and assumes that their lives are laid out for them and that they're always cruising. they never bother to even think about the pain and sweat and tears... the times when they have it hard. and they can't show that side, ever. firstly, they don't have time to because they've got to be strong. secondly, if they ever did, then they'd be judged for it. i used to judge them actually. everyone knows that they work hard but i used to think that because they earnt so much money and were so popular, it was more than fair. and that every time they stumbled, they were taking their super good lives for granted... even just a little.

infinite are now my idols because they are positive, brave and strong. i hope that by looking up to them, i will also learn to have those qualities. they work hard for what they want and i should too. instead of lazing around, waiting for things to happen, i should put in lots of effort. you reap what you sow after all. and even if it all falls apart, there's always a tomorrow. so i will try and be more positive about my life from now on. (:

i thank God for creating me this way. i know that im not perfect and that i never will be but i will work hard so that in all i do, God will be at the centre of my life. i am sorry that i have turned away and will always be turning away. we are all forever unworthy, forever soaked in sin. but yet, i will continue to love you. thank you that everything in life somehow falls into place, even if it does take time.

weallbelieveinperfection

2011-10-10T17:38:00.001+11:00

pineapplesandpoodles

2011-10-08T20:18:00.000+11:00

lately, ive had a sinking feeling in my heart. is it guilt? is it because of change? what is it? do i need to talk to someone? but who would understand...

canweallchillforamoment

2011-10-04T23:01:00.001+11:00

im scared of turning my phone on but ill have to tomorrow morning for an outing. but im just... really... not in the mood for your texts and calls.

you can vent out stuff at me but its weird if its stuff i dont know about, no? to you three unnamed people (and i know at least one of you reads my blog) im not angry. i just... don't want to take sides. like, i only know her name. i cant just agree with you. im sorry you got hurt, you should really cheer up. if he let you go he wasn't worth it in the first place. but like remember, it takes two to tango. you've got to load at least some of the blame onto him. sorry i couldnt tell you this two days ago but i couldn't think straight then. my mind was full of all your rants. and im sorry i turned my phone off okay. it was making me angsty listening to you guys. what you three said made me want to get annoyed at her but i really cant because i dont know her. and just chillax. let it go. btw. ive thought about it and you don't need to worry about next year. if a new person wants to start stuff like that at ruse (i dont know who they'd do it to though?) or even bring on an attitude, then id have a reason to drop them. but right now i kind of don't have the right to. so im sorry, i want to back you but i can't this time. mianhe.

p.s. this post is specifically directed at a few people so if you don't know what im talking about, don't ask. because if this gets too much public interest im just going to delete the post and send e-mails to them.

beacause, simply, nothingsover

2011-10-03T04:48:00.001+11:00

you know your life is messed up by infinite when:

you watch their dances, then watch other kpop group dances and frown because they're all so out of sync. =="
see comments like "Okay, they don't look in-sync here. That's scary. HAHA. JK." and then nod. yes. because it's scary when infnite's not in sync.
you wonder whether or not infinite's entire life is completely in sync. when they brush their teeth... when they chew their food... when they're in the bedr... OKAY.
0330 just isn't depressing anymore, because at least it's still before the dawn
if you had a genie you'd know you'd wish for infinite.
you make a mistake in a relationship you're not sorry, sorry because nothing's over
you can't go away because infinite's telling you to come back again
you can't breathe because you're crying
you go up to your friend who's telling lies and tell them that they're simply being over the top
you give up on fiction becuase infinite's telling you a real story
MBLAQ asks Y and the inspirit voice in your head replies, because
you can't get a boyfriend because infinite's already said be mine
you'll never have to ask yourself "infinite, why did i fall in love with you?". you know it's because they're amazing.
the wonder girls say tell me and you always, always say i don't know
you don't want to play roly poly with t-ara in case it ruins your wings
you try and clap to infinity
you know it's only still 2pm because infinite decided to stop the time
SS501 says you're my heaven but you say sorry, i can't. im already in paradise with infinite.
you're not afraid of danger because of a voice in your heart
you need to take the next step because you're going through evolution
you can't be rainbow's gossip girl because you're already infinite's cover girl
playing darts you don't even need a beautiful target because you just want to get a good shot
you ask the new kids on the block, can u smile?
ZE:A tells you to watch out, you know it's probably because she's back
you decided to entrust 2AM on a mission but now they can't let you go even if they die
the brown eyed girls tell you they're going to give you a sign and you immediately look for a fixed star
you write these sort of things.

going to stop now. loool. good riddance. will have to put this on tumblr (after punctuating of course) for the inspirits soon. (:

omg was never meant to write 4-26 but once i started i couldnt stop. zzzzz =="

besoundasleep

2011-10-02T18:25:00.000+11:00

i took the massively growing waves of kpop groups debuting in japan recently well but this has made me mindblown.

i had this real urge to be super critical about their pronunciations even before i started playing the song (even though i love missA) but it's probably only a lingering feeling from the japanese version of lucifer which was kind of badly pronounced. i also had this annoying feeling that told me that if i started listening to it properly and actually understanding every single line of what the song meant when before i didn't get it at all, id get angry at the song haha.

but omgosh thankfully i was wrong haha. im not used to it but i like it. i still try and sing the korean lines over the top of it for breathe because that song is so catchy haha. and like actually, their pronounciations are mostly spot on. of course the jia and fei because they are chinese but suzy and min are doing quite a good job. you can sort of hear their korean accents sometimes but its kinda like fob koreans who speak english, i think its really cute. the only problem i have is the chinese rap bit. ive never been a big lover of chinese rap, there are only a few artists that i acknowledge and approve of when they rap. jay chou is one. there are a few others but like the rest... especially SHE really annoys me sometimes.

anyway. point is. yaaaaaaaaaaay chinese version haha. :DDD

beautifulskieswonderfulseas

2011-10-01T02:08:00.001+10:00

okay, fine. ive caved in to all your demands. here is the link. prematurely.

http://sweettiquette.blogspot.com/

yes, it's still not done. but ive already sort of started using it a bit, so why not. for those of you who don't know what it is, sweettiquette is my lifestyle blog - because i want to separate my lighthearted fashion, music and shopping posts from my personal ones. so if you're following P I X I E D U S T right now and you still want to see the above in future, then please go and follow this blog too. unless you're only interested in my personal and fangirly/ranty thoughs, which is fine too haha. hope you'll all like it! thank you all for the idea and for the support. ^^♥

turnaroundandgetdown

2011-09-28T04:30:00.000+10:00

in my idealistic and perfect dreamy world,

there would be no school.

by day, i would be in paradise, flying over the top of fluffly clouds, eating cloudcakes as sungyeol whispers into my ear "be mine" and i would reply, "of course, because nothing's over" before coming back again to the ground in time for

night time, where i would party in neverland, spinning our heads binguel binguel because we're all not young before hearing dongho say "man man ha ni?" and replying "don't worry, i like you". then somewhere, someone will shout out "shut up! i can't hear the music" so you get the dj to turn it up up up and we'll all dance a little more

with my boyfriends, who will shout out "let's get it started!"

stayed up for boyfriend's teaser haha and decided to write this. my top 3 kpop groups, i actually have 5 favourites but i would've killed myself doing it for beast and shinee haha. but here's the adorable teaser, take it away boyfriend!

but i sincerely hope that starship's not trolling us and giving us a teaser that's completely different to the mv... again... haha

thesunofsummers

2011-09-27T19:23:00.001+10:00

well, i never do like having my blog on a angsty note for long. so, going to picspam today. (:

lockedupinparadise

2011-09-26T14:54:00.000+10:00

you know, today, im just going to get straight into it. can we all stop bashing kpop just because it's kpop?

well, my formspring followers know what im talking about, right? i asked that question for two good reasons. one, i suspected that some of my cheeky church friends were following me so this was a good way to find out but two i wanted to follow back people who had the same interests as me and thats reasonable, right?

and knowing that obviously not everybody likes kpop and that's fine because we all like different kinds of music, i told people who didn't to delete the question. i was only searching for the people who did and didn't care much about the people who didn't, so it's not that this is an absurd ask right? i mean i seriously don't get people who see the word kpop and immediately want to start bashing it to death. you can like it, you can not like it, you can even hate it but for goodness sakes will you keep it to yourself, especially when asked?

i cant speak for everyone but i dont go around bashing other types of music and i dont think people should do that to kpop. and please don't get me wrong, i also don't have anyone against people who don't like kpop. i mean, not even all of my friends like kpop and even btween kpop, there are certain bands people might like and dislike and i think that's all perfectly fine. but i get super annoyed at people who butt into conversations when im talking about kpop to my friends and make lame comments like "ewwwww kpop". i mean, why does it seem like these days, people get frustrated because others like a certain type of music? i have this dictating principle on me that says "if you want to share with us the reasons you don't like it and let's talk about it, then lets do that and there'll be no hard feelings". but why are people always there just to bash?

lastly, people shouldnt form opinions just because they can't understand something. just because it's in korean (or chinese or japanese for that matter because i dont only like kpop) and you can't understand it, doesn't mean it's not good music or not music at all. i mean hello, im pretty sure music has nothing to do with languages.

sorry everyone but i think this has been a super big bubble just waiting to burst and i just couldnt contain it today. im upset because i love a lot of different kinds of music. yes, ill repeat that, a lot of different kinds of music. i still love techno music, classical music and many, many english songs. so even though i talk about kpop a lot (because it happens to be fun to to talk about) it's not like im blind to all other types of music. i think music is beautiful and should be appreciated for what it is. that's why it hurts me to see specific genres of music getting bashed "just because". seriously, there is no need to bash guys. ):

to root this post to the ground so i dont have to do it ever again, to those people bashing unecessarily on kpop and any other music genre in fact, please stop. it's just as immature as those fangirls who write fanletters in blood. ive already explained why i like kpop. because of their talent, because some of it is actually good quality music and also because most of it just makes me happy listening to it since its fun, because they work their butts off, because they're very respectful and because asian culture just lies close to my heart. now please, id like the people going "ewwwww" to explain to me some genuine reasons why they dislike it before ever bashing on it ever again. and then we can be best of friends despite. biffles anyone? :D

chickenandcornsoup

2011-09-24T00:51:00.000+10:00

i feel so sorry for the packet of chicken and corn soup that never got made today. i lugged it to work & yg but both times it got dismissed for better food. especially at yg - iron chef horray!

last day of junior winter uniform today, so we all did a lot of phototaking and luvoing. it feels like nothing compared to the year 12s leaving but even this is a little sentimental. it feels like the firsts of our many lasts. but in a good way. i think every time we leave or people leave, they leave behind a legacy and they open up new opportunities for themselves. i like to cry at memories but smile at the moments to come. (:

also, for the sake of achieving my life goals, i might study diligently for a little this holidays, just a little haha. might as well, since it's the end of year 10. enough messing around. think ill work a little harder just for the next few years so i can get into uni and hopefully, ill be able to bring about a more socially just world in the future. my mum told me that doing law across different countries is politically dangerous, is really difficult and earns nothing but i told her i didn't care and surprisingly, she said, "good. you're growing up". think its the first time she's ever said anything remotely encouraging to me, which really made me rethink my plans of going out and sleeping everyday for the holidays haha.

ill leave with a stoney and drunk photo of me. well i still think im attractive, okay? like oh-ma-gaaaash i bet hot guys dig this stuff. :L jksjks.

sweepittotheside

2011-09-21T21:27:00.001+10:00

am sick of a variety of things at the moment. but most importantly, i am sick of my fringe. i know, it's been like, two months and im already over it haha. as much as i totally love the straight fringe look, ive discovered 3 fatal flaws with my hair that just won't let me have it. one, i dont really know the precise reason for this but my fringe just wont stay 'full'. there'll be like a part here, a part here and a part here right across my forehead with gaps in between. always. two, straight fringes are too short to be secure so when im outdoors and walking, especially against the wind, the entire fringe would just fly up. and then when i get back indoors it becomes even messier thanks to it flying everywhere. and lastly, i cant put it back anywhere when it bothers me e.g. studying, cadets etc. can't pin it to the side or up because there are always short bits. so it's time to say byebye straight fringe. ):

but no i am not going back to the lame middle part hair either haha. i dont want to just wait until my fringe grows back out without doing anything because that's just really weird. ill have my fringe covering up my eyes for a month before it's long enough to go back behind my ears loool. but yes, instead, as you may have already predicted, im going to turn it into sideswept bangs, to the left. temporarily or permanently, i have no clue. it all depends on whether my hair is willing enough to stay to the side after i train it for a while and whether i still have the same problems with it, since it's still a fringe, after all. for now, i don't mind the look. but the test is coming... dun dun dun! hehe... :L

and can i just say... gosh my room has perfect lighting today, for once. i went to do that auto-level thing... its my ritual for photos you see haha... and it didn't change the photo one bit. at which point i realised, wow. the levels are perfect! haha. :D oh and sorry about my messy bed and pe uniform. ill clean that up now loool.

goodbye, todaywillcomeagaintomorrow

2011-09-20T21:13:00.000+10:00

the moment all the year 12s leave the school, and i realise that ive taken so many friendships for granted. i don't think ill ever, ever get to see many of you again (or at least not for a long time) and if i find you in the days coming ill say this to you in person but if not, then it'll be here if you ever want to look at it.

vincent. i always complain about how you stalked us when we were in year 7, but in reality for the most part im kind of glad you did. we've probably held years worth of conversation together on msn, text, skype etc. and your company's probably one of the most reliable things there are in this world. sometimes, when nobody else was there to talk, you were. and though you'd make like such useless comments, the simple fact that you were there on the other end listening and allowing me to spill out random stuff helped so much. i also appreciated your help before and during my first cadet biv haha. i was never going to say this but i might as well say it now. i was really worried about dying on biv lol but you made me feel safe, especially after you helped me light up my gas stove. yeah. looool. no don't ever use that against me or ill kill you. but i guess i dont have that capability anymore, since you've actually buffed up now and can even bboy... to a certain extent. and, though it's rare, it's nice when you smile in real life.

ivan. um, like, how did we even meet loool? all i remember now is you dissing me about everything. i guess it rooted from the fact that i kept dissing you for being stoned. and i swear, you still are, although there has been slight improvements haha. in all seriousness though, i will never, ever forget all the help you've been to me over the past few years. you probably don't realise it but you've been a lifesaver on many occasions. maths, cadets, chem olympiad loool... and our random discussions on deviantART and msn, i will definitely cherish them forever more. never let anything in life bring you down, you're a super strong person and you always will be.

michael. you're the epitome of gentlemen and you should really be proud of it. (: you're kindness and maturity is really great to have in the world where most people live under rocks and act like babies 24/7 hahaha. you're so knowledgeable and fun to have around and the world would be so, so lacking without your photography haha! you're really an amazing person to have as a friend and i can't express how much im going to miss having such a responsible and capable figure close to me in the school. remember the time we went bowling with alex? i still have really vivid memories of that. (:

chi-wai. omgosh, how can you leave the school?! everybody is just going to miss you so, so, so much it's not even funny. someone who is super good at absolutely everything and jumps around and makes the world brighter and better. it's like having a light in a room and then taking it away. but besides being a cheery friend you were also such an outstanding leader. src was so enjoyable under your guidance and you made cadets so, so fun. you're one of those people i always aspire to be like. you're well-rounded, so nice and without knowing it you impact so many people's lives. we'll all really really miss you, lots and lots.

bahaven. i promise i dont cry around you because you're scary hahaha. actually, i never thought you were all that scary, so don't worry. (; because i was scared of buddha but then he always raged at you and you were never scared of him so i was like well hey, if he can not be scared and no get away with it, so can i. :L you've been the shining figure of cadets and you've really made our unit into such a good one. im really proud to be a part of cadets thanks to people like you and i promise i will never forget it. but behind all the cadetsyness i discovered that you were a really caring friend and knowing you has made me really appreciate all the perspectives in life that a person can take. so many times i was stuck in my own little world and you opened all the options and showed me that there were better ways to go. im really thankful for all your advice and grateful that you became my friend.

tim. go die in a hole. haha jokes, jokes. 'sif i'd ever say that to you. to be honest, i get a feeling you don't even want me to say anything to you and you're probably glad you'll never ever see me again but too bad loool, it seems that inevitably, im here to annoy your existence until the end of time. i don't want to like write a page so ill try and condense this. firstly, i may have had some of the weirdest ways of expressing myself but i actually did like you. i know you know but sometimes you seem to forget that stupidity befalls upon me thanks to it. i won't deny that im weird but, in my defence, we could've become friends if you had grown a pair and actually talked to me nicely looool. but no, you're tim and that's expecting too much, am i right? (; anyway. i used to look at couples and act all tough and be like "psssch they like each other, more like they just want to be with each other to look cool" etc. but then i met you and realised maybe i was a lot more human than i thought. you made me realise a lot of things about myself and especially, you've taught me a serious life lesson on how not to approach people. but 'til this day, im really regretful and sorry that it had to come at the cost of your time and patience. especially dealing with your friends and their jokes, i hear you're still getting it even in your last days haha. but seriously, it's not actually that bad. it's partly because you take it so seriously, you know? im glad im finally over it, for your sake haha but if you ever want to start over as friends, im right here. but even if you don't, im with you whatever you do, so i hope you get that 100ATAR and make the world proud.

those were my close friendships but i feel like id be doing the following people injustice if i didn't mention them at all. oh and it just occurred to me that they're all boys. maybe i really don't have any proper friends looool.

bella, sonia & lauren. you guys are amaaaaazing focus leaders. sorry for not turning up as much as i would've liked to, but stay strong in Christ after high school! bryan thank you so much for being a lover of kpop! you've made school life such awesome fun. and your dancing is much hotness to boot! yr 12 deviantARTists thanks for making my life artiful! bach i remember talking to you in year 9 about such deep stuff, don't ever lose your serious perspective on life haha! joshua don't worry about people around you, just believe in yourself. alex. thanks for that time bowling and for being a kind friend. all of tim's friends. you were all trolls in your past life, weren't you? living under bridges waiting for innocent sheep, i can totally imagine it haha. thanks for a good time. (: i still don't get why i look like a pixie but it's kind of caught on.

finally, to all of you. thank you for being friends, for making me smile, for making me laugh, for making me cry and for being a seriously cool grade to look up to. this has been my toughest farewell to date.

cameratzzi

2011-09-18T20:32:00.000+10:00

tannie asked me a really weird question over the phone today. she's like "if dongho wasn't an idol and you randomly saw him on the streets for the first time would you think he was hot?". i was on the train so at first i thought i actually heard "do you think he'd be a rock" and then my super duper intelligent mind was like no you idiot that couldn't have been what she said and then realised the true meaning. all in a split second of course hawhawhaw... but i bet thats happened to everyone. it happens to me a lot. ><;

anyway. it really depends on what he was wearing at the time but actually, 90% probably not. he'll always be super cute and at first sight i would defos be like omgosh, supercute! but hot... probably unlikely haha. and then tannie's like, it's his hair, isn't it? im like... loool you've caught on... caught on (; and then we started cracking up and i dropped my phone and the batteries fell out and people on the train started looking at me weirdly, especially between the time i repaired my phone and called her back. =="

on that note, the only u-kiss member that id think immediately "OMG HOT" would be kevin. suuuuper handsome, that one. the other members i would also be like cool boy. but probably no reaction haha. please don't bash me. they're all good looking but its me being honest haha. infinite is different haha. id immediately swoon hoya, sungyeol and HOOOOYAAAAA if i saw them. their aura just calls out HOTHOTHOT. :L :L :L but we all know i still like u-kiss more despite. ^^♥

it's 'cause im not a shallow fangirl who likes groups because they are hot, you know? =="

vanilladreams

2011-09-17T17:17:00.000+10:00

lee hyun woo. i wish he came to our school. wait loool thats an in-joke nobody's supposed to get. ==" haha well to cut a story short, ive been saying "i wish he came to our school" a lot lately. the random pretty blonde haired attitude boy at epping station trololol. and the japanese guy who tannie and i discovered could also speak spanish and were like OMG HOT looool. tannie claims that all the guys i swoon for look like cartoon characters. cept hyunwoo, who apparently looks like her cousin. she's like dude, my cousin smiles like that. lol. anyway. he plays young kim yushin in seon deok and i was really devo when he got older and a mature actor started playing him looool. then we dramawikied him and it turns out hes played younger versions of a lot of people and in heaps of historical dramas. he really suits haha. and then we found that he was a part of drama called "give me food" and yup, we cracked up insanely.

chocolatefuzzballs

2011-09-17T00:15:00.002+10:00

yesterday, green tea + pizza with gracicles and buffzhang. mori jap/korean restaurant.

today, kbbq at surangsang, eastwood. waiter with black hat and waiter with cute smile were both there, even at 9pm. they must work so hard.

now, official online shopping session for summer clothes. $80 account balance on one of my favourite online stores. happy.

edit: fixed a spelling mistake. thank you dorie. :L

bubblegumplumblossom

2011-09-11T21:31:00.000+10:00

this is hands the best live performance of anything i have ever seen in my life. and yup. it was u-kiss. (:

but even from an unbiased point of view, there are so many things to give them credit for!

dongho's vocals in someday really amaze me. everyone knows he can rap and dance and post the cutest pictures on twitter haha but he can seriously sing too. i mean i acknowledge that there's better but his voice is sweet and really, not ever rapper can sing this well. not just in kpop... not that many rappers period can sing well.

and the main vocals for someday coming from kevin... i swear kevin is an angel in disguise. his voice makes "someday" and "take me away" break my heart. and ive cried a lot listening to them because they describe my feelings so well.

okay moving onto neverland... did you see the water omg! they were dancing such a difficult dance in perfect sync. on water. okay. loool just in case you didnt catch that. in perfect sync. on water. loool that should become my catch phrase. haha no but seriously! i know at first sight the dance doesn't look any harder than any other kpop dance but um... well just try learning it haha. i think tannie and i actually gave up and i dont think we've ever given up before :L to make it synced is so hard. to make it look good is... impossible. ):

okay well, those three things should totally amaze you. but im just going to go ahead and name all the other reasons why i love u-kiss and this live performance especially. i know a lot of you readers dont like kpop haha but just hang in here and try and see my reasoning. like today, im not fangirling. im actually putting forward logical reasons for why i like kpop. actually i can sum it up in three words for you. talent. hardworking. and their respect. respect as in respect that they have for fans, for other members and people around them in general. there we go (:

anyway. the performance looool. okay ill cut it short because i shouldnt be joyranting so much but loving the harmonies between the vocal team and hoon really deserves to be on the team. love kiseop's new hair and how well he's been performing now that he has a decent amount of parts. love eli and aj's rap as a team. best decision ever to put them together for every song haha. always love dongho's main raps. also love eli's dedication and to come back to do a string of performances so well and without complaint even though he's injured. tada! im done :D

goldenrocketssilvernstars

2011-09-10T21:47:00.000+10:00

i love reading pop-up picture books loool, they're fun. (:

does anyone remember the very hungry caterpillar? because i read it today online, it was cute but i reminisced on childhood days of actually reading it in my hands and struggling to understand the english haha. and the librarian thought i hadnt returned it so we had to look all over the library for it together. primary school's so cute. :3

other than that, today was a super constructive day. like okay, i did watch one episode of seon duk. but i did whilst eating breakfast, followed by lunch since i woke up at 12 and didnt know which one to have so i had both loool. so i mean, i didnt waste that much time. and then from maybe 2ish? to now, 9ish all i did was maths. um yeah. i crawled under a rock today for the first time in a long time. felt... stupid. loool. never ever again roflmao. i stood up to get a drink just then and i have back pains. i guess one dance break wasnt enough. should dance on the hour every hour when doing maths marathons next time. but no, there won't be a next time because... never, ever again. haha.

btw, sorry for my ranty post yesterday. and sweawah i assure you none of it was directed at you. but really sorry again for ranting so much, i hope nobody feels that its having a go at them. i understand very clearly most of the things i mentioned, people do subconsciously and even im like that sometimes. i guess i cant deny that it annoys me when i run out of patience but i dont blame anyone for it and i dont expect it to change. it's a bit like my feelings towards thunderstorms. like, obviously i dont like them but im not going to take it out on the sky any time soon, if you get what i mean haha. (;

buttersugarcornflakes

2011-09-10T00:02:00.001+10:00

it goes to say that i haven't really been in a good mood today. not enough for it to protrude to the outside but in general on the inside i felt really tensed up and annoyed at everything. my mum says maybe it would help to get more sleep. maybe it would. im really sorry to anyone if i seemed like i was having a go at them today or in general was just really irritated. but i suppose once in a while, you get these days hm?

it's weird because when i come across these days i dont actually feel desperately mad through and through. its just sort of like a candle flame. it stays relatively calm if you dont do anything but as soon as the slightly bit of wind goes near it, it'll go nuts. thats kind of how i felt on the inside today. i still had heaps of fun, went to class, dance practice etc. but then different situations i would normally be able to handle and sort of swallow down made me kind of fume today. i dont really get these kind of days a lot i guess. if anything i usually get days where im deep in thought and sad more than angry. but today, i dnno. 0 tolerance for everything.

im trying to get it out and think it through because im worried that if i sleep on it ill wake up with it again. but ive realised today that there are definitely three things that bother me a lot. even when im normal they bother me, i guess i just chose not to take them to heart or react. obviously i did or was on the verge of reacting today which was terribly wrong of me but at the time, i guess i wasnt thinking clearly and it felt justified since it was a spur of the moment. so the three things are:

really jabbery, annoying people. it almost got on my nerves today. i shouldnt be this way because its not their fault, i guess they dont really know that they're that annoying, even though people act hostile towards them. im working hard to suppress annoyance and irritating feelings towards them but on days like this, my hardworking and moral side completely disappears (loool goes on strike haha) and i feel like round kicking them ><;
counterfeit emotions. people who fake their depression and go around telling people they're depressed. urrrrgh. back in my down days, i remember when i was really sad i just felt like sitting in a corner and avoiding everyone. i dont know about other people but when im said, i tend to not have the energy to go around with a megaphone annoying everyone about it. maybe tannie will know. maybe ceci will know. maybe blog readers will know. but who else, right? and then there's people who are like overly happy the very next second and so in your face about that as well. and then they go around dancing going im happy im happy im happy. like of course i love happiness, i live for it but sometimes im just not in the mood to join in and accept the happiness. i dont get why after you give them the "im glad for you" smile and sort of turn your attention away they keep dancing around you. no i cant handle overly happy people when im serious or out of it. happiness is contagious and everything but i dont think it works that way.
people who treat you like you depend on them or something. actually... they probably dont intend to... but i just get this feeling every time because they're so harsh all the time. im so sensitive ):

haha well there. not annoyed at anyone or anything. just trying to get out of this mood so i can be better tomorrow. i dont think ive fully taken it out on anyone today really but ive probably given people 'the attitude' once or twice so if i offended you im so so sorry. come talk to me on msn/skype and ill apologise because i really regret it now. ): felt like an angry bird all day looool. its nice to get it off my shoulders. night everyone (:

moneylovefashionfame

2011-09-08T20:08:00.000+10:00

"... and all that's in between" -Neverland (U-KISS)

so ive been watching queen seon duk the past few days right... its a historical drama btw... and ive been thinking omgosh i want to live in the ancient days and be some princess soley because the historical dresses are pretty. haha but im not evil enough to gain power so id probably be killed, die of some disease or be overthrown within a few days. ._.

even though i haven't blogged for a long time, i actually have nothing else to say haha. guess i haven't had much on my mind these past few days. (:

malteasersplaidsandplaits

2011-09-03T18:34:00.000+10:00

the only thing ive eaten all day are 10 malteasers... but thats only because i woke up at 4 roflmao. have to make myself some foooooood after this. :D

neverland got me super excited. so i tooks some luvos. haha that's not logical, i know. but serious question to girl readers, when you tie your hair to one side for a whole day, does your neck start to hurt? or maybe i just have a really weak/unflexible/grandma neck ><;

but whoooo let's party on in neverland!!! (:

oh and before anyone asks, no i dont have my contacts in. im just lucky enough to have double eyelids today... :D ive been at home all day.. well duh. considering i woke up at 4 haha. (:

thereisnoend, thisisneverland

2011-09-01T21:14:00.000+10:00

"Tell the DJ turn it up up up and da-da-dance a little more

끝은 없어 never end 여긴 Neverland" -Neverland (U-KISS)

u-kiss is 대박!!~~ yes, i stayed up waiting for neverland yesterday haha. i wouldve done it anyway but i also stayed up to study for ag. in fact i kind of went overboard and didn't sleep until 5. im probably going to be super tired tomorrow. im always tired the day after staying up... on the day i stay up, im either normal or super high. in the case of today, i was probably super high thanks to "끝은 없어 never end..." *insert random electronic music here* haha. u-kiss is supa luv! lol. no reference to teen top there... at all (;

i think dongho could melt all the ice in the mv. just saying. (;

i loved kevin's voice in this. and eli/aj's raps! cant stop listening! and kiseop's lines as usual, are super super precious. hoon really fits in well, his voice is so beautifully synced up with the other members. and soohyun... well... when he sings "여긴 neverland" i really believe him ♡

they've alright hit no. 1 on hanteo charts. im so proud!!! KISSMes, lets party on!

feelingfruitless

2011-08-31T11:16:00.002+10:00

i found this on tumblr. not exactly the type of thing i expected to find on tumblr first thing in the morning but it really is massive food for thought. read the whole thing when you get time... it gave me a new perspective on pop culture magazines.

"Simply put: you do not get to build a magazine around making women feel inadequate and then express astonishment and pity when they comply. This is the culture that Glamour and its ilke have helped to build — a culture that is relentlessly critical of women’s bodies, a culture that considers women’s bodies public property open to debate, a culture that trains women to turn this criticism on themselves, and to accept and internalize every comment, opinion, observation and judgment on their bodies no matter who it comes from, be it a parent, a friend, a boss, a significant other, or a stranger on the street, because they think they deserve it." -Real Quick: Glamour is shocked. I mean eviscerated. I mean shocked. (Two Whole Cakes)

i dont know if this is the right time to post this after the stuff above buuuuut... chinese ulzzangs! :D i seriously didn't know ulzzangs could be non-korean. i thought it was a korean thing. :/

realitytossedmeaway

2011-08-30T11:28:00.001+10:00

im a noob for not paying attention to this song when it came out. i mean, you'd think i would considering i loved going crazy so much and the chorus was even sung by yoseob but no. i somehow passed it haha.

"이제 너 없이 잠들 수 있어/ 너 없는 Spotlight 빈자리를 비추어- I Remember (Bang Yong Guk)"

his voice is sooooooo rap like haha. its amazing. i loved how this song actually didnt destroy itself by using english roflmao. like normally, any lyrics containing english i probably would never quote as a memorable line but for once. it works.

temporarily changed my music playlist. it has 3 of my most listened songs for the past few days but i expect it'll be replaced shortly by a u-kiss neverland playlist :L only two more sleeps! ^^

enlightenme, marryme

2011-08-29T20:16:00.000+10:00

three things today.

maths is unbelievably bearable when you do it to nachan's music (omg the quality of his earphones... =O) or to cuppaccino + iced chocolates at gloria jeans. distractions make me forget about how bad i am at maths i guess. (:
the science department obviously fell in love with liquid nitrogen. everything science as of late has incorporated it some way, somehow. i mean, science assembly had 3+ experiments involving liquid nitrogen and that i can understand but today, whilst doing electromagnetism? that was just out of nowhere. but im not complaining becuase its sooooooooooooo cool. :D
i dont know why tannie kim isnt known in the fashion industry already. she made her own dress for a school project and it looks so stunning. and today, she said the smartest thing about my hair. i love how she never gives me advice until i ask for it but when i do, it's always so spot on. she always, always knows whats wrong but wont point it out until it wont be hurtful to do so. the perfect friend, for sure. ♥

thepastisthepastisthepast

2011-08-26T18:23:00.002+10:00

U-KISS. SOMEDAY. NEVERLAND.

speechless. enough said. ♡

butyouleftanyway

2011-08-23T23:54:00.000+10:00

"i fought for you. i cried for you. i lent my life to you. but you left me anyway." -MBLAQ fanfic

pulling quotes out of fanfics probably makes them less romantic but i just found this one so beautiful. it's based on the MBLAQ song Y becuase its not really a recent fanfic. no, it doesnt remind me of myself haha. i may have cried but i did not fight or lend out my life. gross. haha.

kind of waiting for summer now... winters getting boring

imtangledupinyou

2011-08-23T00:29:00.000+10:00

"even the best fall down sometimes. even the wrong words seem to rythme. even the stars refuse to shine." -Collide (Howie Day)

i haven't listened to this song for ten billion years and to be honest, this song is one of the few that stops me from downright ignoring english songs haha because it certainly must seem like im doing that nowdays. but no, even the first time i discovered this song i had to stay on that person's IMVU page just to listen to it (yes i was that sad). but its such a beautiful song. i remember crying to it when i was sad back then. gosh, time flies.

sayooolala

2011-08-21T23:37:00.000+10:00

admittedly, rice was a little less hyped up and exciting this year but i think in many ways ive been waiting for this to happen because this way, i won't be going through stages and 'highs' with my faith in God. (:

um i have paint all over me, my hair, my clothes and a lot of random furniture atm because ive been painting my canvas for the past week and kept spilling stuff haha. im really worn out for some reason. really feel like some shut-eye. ):

havent done my maths homework so i feel really guilty. i really want to catch up now. ):

tests at talent are pretty funny. i made some of the dumbest mistakes in maths loool. and omg science was even more hilarious... i knew literally nothing. but i have a valid excuse this time - since i had only been there for a week. i only knew the answers to stuff we learnt last week. the rest was like "is this in another language or what?" but we all copy off each other anyway and i felt seriously useless becuase people next to me were trying to copy me but like, i knew nothing. and it was pretty funny becuase one of the questions i tried to do i did 1+2+3+6=9 and he copied it and then was like O_O but hes cool because he likes peach water :D

looool think i might be falling in love with him... just because he likes peach water. jks jks. but SOMEBODY refused peach water twice today... *cough br... cough spluttter an... cough cough splutter don" see what i did there? (;

everyone blames me for not going karaoke at midnight after rice... but it wasnt my fault my parents love me and came to the city to pick me up... both of them looool. a bit excessive i must admit but mum was like "i get bored" roflmao. she slept on the train anyway but. ><;

aaaaanyway. shut-eye. nightnight (:

riverflowsinyou

2011-08-18T03:12:00.002+10:00

this song... it gives the chills every time i listen to it~~ so beautiful with words♥

thesemomentsweshare

2011-08-17T18:49:00.000+10:00

today, i realise that i am a happy person living a happy life, despite what my "you look like you've just woken up" as catty puts it hehe face had to say. yeah well, i literally got up this morning, felt as weak as an old granny (maybe i am one :L), spluttered and coughed and whined at my mum, dragged myself out of bed, scrunched up my hair into whatever it wanted to do and whever it wanted to fly, didnt even bother taming my fringe which i had obviously slept on so badly haha and looked at my reflection with a really unamused expression before telling my mum that today might be the last day ill be alive and then walking out the door. roflmao i think most people could tell i was like a zombie today. but at least i had the decency to tidy myself up for artclass. i thank gmarket and tumblr and sweawah for inspiring me and giving me the opportunity to buy the curly top bun hair extension. it works miracles but i really need to buy one that's black black. :L

anyway. enough about my zombie-like state and back to happiness. yes, i am happy because ive realised that my parents are awesome for encouraging me to participate in extracurricular activities and not stopping me from attending billions of social events. comparatively, i have so much freedom and choice with my life. rarely have my parents ever said dead no to anything and looking back, all the times that they have done that in the past - it really was the right decision. i mean, my dad is always joking about the fact that everyone has 24 hours each day and the time i spend doing 'lan qi ba zao" or 'random useless stuff' roflmao everyone else is studying. but i know he's only kidding because if he was really against it, he would've just stopped paying for everything haha. and my mum, even last night when i was learning kpop dances in my room and she was watching me, after i stopped she started imitating me (really badly) and then going "this is what you do while other people study... and yet you want to become a UN delegate" and then we both cracked up afterwards.

thats why from now on, i really want to make an effort to enjoy my life more and stop complaining about homework and studying and put in a diligent effort. i mean, why not? im not forced into it, my parents dont have unreasonable expectations (they just want me to do my best) and my life isn't lacking at all. cherish would be the word. yes, i should cherish my freedom and make the most of it. ^^♥

justlikeheriwanttobepretty

2011-08-14T22:43:00.003+10:00

"all alone, im all alone...." -2NE1 - Ugly

the first time i listened to this song, i was like yaaaay good song. but lately ive been reading a lot of formspring/blog posts and ive kind of been thinking, why do so many girls want to take songs like this and go "that is so me!"? i really have two things that i want to vent out today, so forgive me, before i even start haha.

firstly to the people hating on my friends on formspring... i suddenly have this urge to swear at you. obviously, i won't but still, the fact that im getting the urge to, i hope that expresses my anger enough haha. but more than get angry i want to say, please stop. please realise that it's really low to make pointing out other people's imperfections a hobby. i don't see how it's even the slightest bit fun. and if jealousy is making you do it, just remember that when you look in the mirror yourself, its always whats inside that makes you feel more beautiful. you could be the most physically attractive person in the world but that would be nothing if your heart was black and full of guilt. you really are beautiful, so there's no need to hate.
secondly to all the beautiful people i know who keep putting themselves down or diet. here is my view on dieting. ive joked about dieting in the past (so now im really hoping that you people didn't take it seriously and it didnt influence you) but obviously me being me, mine never really lasted for more than a second haha. seriously though, dieting was something designed to help people get healthy again... as in really really obese people who's condition is literally putting their lives on the line. they dont want to die prematurely from heart disease. that's why they diet. i seriously do not see many of those people around and certainly nobody around me is like that. it really hurts me to see so many girls in our grade going on diets. you guys, the healthy weight range for girls 160cm-170cm is 47-67kg. now seriously, if you're telling me that you're above this weight i am going to ignore you for a year because you'd be lying your heart out. and i never wanted to do this but since i cant tell you to feel less insecure simply by telling you you're beautiful just the way you are because you won't believe me, ill smash your insecurity with some very very very truthful and superficial facts that i never ever wanted to pull from my sleeve because i didn't think id have to. but if it means making you feel better, then id rather that. you might think you're fat but if you get any skinner, you'd look GROSS. i know you're worried about people stopping, pointing and judging you so listen here. when i see the superficial people around me judging others, they always have this thing (especially boys) where they point at really skinny girls and go "no, not her, she's way too skinny". so seriously listen to me, even if your heart is telling you to be superficial, dieting is not the way to go. i really had to get it out there. it's been killing me for the past few weeks. if you want to do something good for yourself, eat healthier but please don't diet. when i say eat healthier i dont mean skip this snack because its unhealthy. i mean EAT IT and then go home and eat some fruits or vegetables as well.

if you seek perfection, it's never going to come to you. this beauty you talk about and want so much? it comes in so many forms. for that reason alone, no one person could ever be the prettiest person in the world based on their physical appearance. on the other hand, to all the girls around me, i really beg you. look at yourself in the mirror for just for today tell yourself your beautiful and really believe it. forget about hindering the good and fun parts of your life just so you can look better (which dieting won't even do). just go out there, believe in yourself. when you're happy with yourself, you won't care when people stop and stare and point because you'll know that they're only doing it because they're insecure themselves. see, if everyone thought they were okay, then they'd think all the other people were okay too. and after doing that for day, you'll get into the habit of it.

im really sorry for sounding really harsh... i think its what happens when you bottle up depressing thoughts for so long haha ^^; so lastly, i want to praise the one and only God i owe my life and more to for making me the way i am and putting beautiful people all around me. each and every one of them has been a blessing and each and every day that i have lived has been a learning experience. i pray that my God will help other people to see this too. ♡

nomoreperfumeonyou

2011-08-11T23:28:00.000+10:00

whenever im bored or doing something only semi constructive like reading daysheet, downloading history sheets or ordering stuff for a friend, i listen to this song. its so lalalalala mood (:

monotoneandred

2011-08-10T20:28:00.001+10:00

"my heart is beating faster because a nine-tailed fox called me prime beef... i must really be crazy" -my girlfriend is a gumiho

omg roflmao gumiho is so funny. took off the dodgy crackled nail polish ive been wearing for 4 days today. i think thats the longest time ive worn dodgy nail polish ever. i seriously get embarassed when im wearing dodgy nail polish and people point it out. true, they always say things like "that looks nice!" and dont even notice that it's dodgy because in truth it did just looked like sheer white nail polish but i myself know that it was supposed to be a design so i still feel uneasy haha. am i too self conscious sometimes? :L

so apparently theres an anime for kimi no todoke. i really want to watch it but im watching gosick atm. victorique actually really annoys me but i suppose its because ive only watched 2 eps. ><;

speaking of jap things, i concentrated so hard in the jap competition today it felt like my brain was going to explode. like, in the practice ones i was like meh meh meh and my brain was sort of concentrating, but not. somehow today, i made up my mind to intesify all my senses and i was like listening and reading so carefully and intently i swear i would've jumped up and cracked if you went up behind me and scared me roflmao. i didnt realise until afterwards when time was up and i took like ages to get back to reality. i scare myself sometimes doing these sorts of things. =="

four partyish formalish dresses that i would love to own. i wasn't shopping for formal dress dw. i think i may have half taken care of that one already. i just 'stumble' across party dresses when i shop for normal clothes haha.

i ruvs ruffles :3

so cute. ive been really into these types of shortsleeved dresses lately (:

more ruffles. i really really love the colour & sequins. ive yet to own a dress this colour (:

well ive always loved beige, bows and princess sleeves but this one is so figure hugging! id wear this sort of dress for formal musical nights like cabaret and winter concert (:

im in real danger of buying one of these dresses but i think ill refrain until ive figured out more things of necessity to buy. otherwise, ill just end up buying a bunch of useless stuff as well to fill up the shipping. im glad that thing is there actually. otherwise id be buying stuff off gmarket everyday haha. ><;

tooeasytoosoon

2011-08-05T23:06:00.000+10:00

certain events in my life trigger me to take a step back, look at myself and make me a better person.

sometimes, i myself feel like a mutant. like im a really different to everyone. i think partly because i realise this, im also really sensitive. surprisingly enough, reading kimi no todoke has made me think - what if ive just become too used to being accepted to my interests in one place that when i get attacked for them elsewhere im too quick to get annoyed? sometimes i feel like if my friends outside of school were there, they'd back me up when that happens and it feels very empty that they're not there. or even if i had a different friendship group within this school. i sometimes wonder, what would it be like to be around the girls on the front lawn? they seem so gossip and carefree. and they talk lots about the things that they love without being pushed back all the time. i sometimes get the feeling that too many people in schools are trying to preserve their own notion of image and that they sacrifice their sense of fun to do it. but if you end up overanalysing people in that way, you end up with the feeling that certain people are kind of fake and you don't really know if they have alterior motives for complimenting you, helping you or being on your side. on the other hand, you begin to realise the genuine, down to earth people who are willing to put aside their image and pride to stand by doing something good/better or fun, even if it isn't the most popular thing to do, even if it doesn't make them look good from the outside.

knowing my own feelings towards these things, i will try my bestest and learn to be more accepting when other people throw attacks and also to try to monitor exactly what i do and for what motives i do them constantly and make sure that every single thing i do is out of honesty, truth and love - nothing else. but also, its made me realise that i should never take the support i get for granted either. at the end of the day, they make the best friends of all because they're the best fun. i suppose school is just school and school will end eventually. maybe when i get older, i will get to spend less time with people who never appreciate what i talk about and instead have more opportunites to spend more time with people who share what i love too. ^^♥

sorry for letting my thoughts out so randomly. your probable hunch is right. it is because im feeling uneasy about a certain person who i see a lot but of course its never just one person or one thing, it's a million little things. i will do my best to lose this impatient and unaccepting side of me and be a better person. please pray that i will stamp out all the prejudice and help me subside my irritation. ♡

tannie really likes this song. even though sunny hill isn't really my thing, ill admit that it was pretty amazing.

생일축하함니다

2011-08-03T23:01:00.001+10:00

ive had the happy birthday song sung to me in 4 different languages today. english + korean by tannie, marly and cara in the morning. a little bit of jap in jap. and like one line from my mum but then my dad gave me the 'empty glass + birthday wishing well line thing' at the restaurant. im feeling more multilingual already. im so lucky to be around people of all different cultures and languages - i will always cherish this. thank you to everyone who made my 16th birthday so special. you people really are the best. ♡

apparently the colour of sweet 16 is pink...

well, if i wanted a pink dress, id go for ciel phantomhive's dress in kuroshitsuji

roflmao ciel dressing up as girl is really a classic moment :L

in fact... now i kind of want to cosplay as her... maybe when i fix up my debts to my mum roflmao. :L

pleaseleavemehangingfromabove

2011-08-02T23:01:00.000+10:00

reading kimi no todoke... long time no shoujo!~~ ive only read like 10 pages but its getting pretty good. wow, i really miss my shoujo.

sooooo much to do this week... no month. sooooo much to do this month!!! i think im going to be dead at the end of it, i really do.

on another note, i really love tannie and i really love a good laugh. skyped for about 15 minutes with her... i called cara and we started singing manmanhani because thats her ringtone and then tannies like... neh... and it was quite a lol moment. i havent spoken to cara for so long. somehow this reminds me of chantelle as well, i should really write to her. so many friends drifting away ):

tannies coming over really early tomorrow before choir, as per birthday tradition. she'll probably bring over food... hehehehehe yumyum

hehe~~ jo twins + ouran high <3

myallisinyou

2011-07-31T23:52:00.003+10:00

阳台上吹著风有一些难过
累积在胸口还不懂为什么
有一个女孩和一片天空
还只是我的一个梦

熟悉的脉搏又开始跳动
云朵的河流车窗外快速的流动
现在的你在城市的哪一个角落
多想看见你笑容的温柔

如果在小时候草地上我回头
你亲口说爱我
我没装做不懂如果你能来找我
唱相同的歌吹一样的风（一样的风）
我会牵起你的手
漫步踏上微风走到了空中

田野里开了花当时我们好懵懂
所以那时没有过带走你的念头
太阳在云背后慢慢地移动
直到我终于失去了有你的那一段时空

如果熟悉的脉搏又开始跳动
云朵的河流车窗外快速的流动
现在的你在城市的哪一个角落
多想看见你笑容的温柔

如果在小时候（小时候）
草地上我回头（草地上我回头）
你亲口说爱我（你亲口说爱我）
我没装做不懂（我没有不懂）
如果你能来找我唱相同的歌（My girl）
（如果你能来找我）
吹一样的风（一样的风唱着歌）
我会牵起你的手（你我吹一样的风）

陪你看着夕阳落下的每一个午后
有多少的话想对你说
还能不能再次拥有你我都错过的以后

全：如果在小时候（小时候）
草地上我回头（草地上我回头）
你亲口说爱我（亲口说爱我）
我没装做不懂如果你能来找我（Oh~）
唱相同的歌吹一样的风（一样的风吹着风）
我会牵起你的手（你的手）

草地上我回头（Oh~ Oh~）
你失望的感受我现在全都懂（Oh~）
如果你能来找我唱相同的歌（哦唱相同的歌）
吹一样的风我会牵起你的手
（吹一样的风我会牵起你的手）

漫步踏上微风走到了空中
（Wu~ 踏上微风走到了空中）
漫步踏上微风（漫步上微风）
架起了彩虹♥

dancethenightaway

2011-07-28T18:09:00.000+10:00

quote twitter status from two seconds ago: "just danced for two hours with tk♡~~ really good exercise! ^^♥~~ we will master mona lisa, 파이팅!!! ㅋㅋㅋ~~ okay. 日本語 timeeee!!!"

hehe, yes im dancing again because after going back to ebc last month for prayer day; saw the ebc dance team there and felt so nostalgic about dance. like, i never danced danced but i used to muck around and learn random kpop dances back in year 7. and now here was a group of people practising every week. i wanted to be a part of it sooooo badly haha but my parents were always ishish about me going to church more than once a week. :/

aaaanyway. shouldn't go to church just for dance. but the point is, i was whining a lot so tannie agreed to dance with me and teach me stuff that she learns from jun. thats how i came across mona lisa by mblaq haha. im like meh about mblaq so at first i was kinda like... meh. but then the dance and the song itself are both catchy so now im like fully addicted haha. my left arm is really sore right now because i think i put too much energy in my movements there (because im noob and i have no control of energy haha). im also getting colder by the second as im writing this because im only wearing a short sleeve loose top plus stockings haha. i think im going to kill the stockings... ><;

yes. so this is my post for today haha. i danced for the first time in oh so long.

kay. food+shower+jap = rest of tonight. byebye honeypies. (;

inthenightsky

2011-07-26T22:06:00.000+10:00

to the left, to the right. aaaah im that semi-sad semi-meh mood right now. i think i wish i was better at a lot of things but no way im going to give up my social life for that. still, i wish. also. ruse - its a good school but its not perfect. sometimes, i wish i could connect better with the people and vice versa. i sometimes cant help but think that maybe if i went to a more chillax school id have a lot more fun, especially around people who appreciate asian culture more. maybe if ebc community was my school haha. but hey, there'd probably be problems with that too. the grass is always greener on the other side, right? (:

dw. i love ruse. wouldn't have it any other way. <3

and i also love this song :D

sugartoesanddelicacy

2011-07-23T01:25:00.001+10:00

everyone i have an important announcement to make. i have found another online pet hate.

you know my chinese name anran? yes, i get pissed off when i see it like that, romanised in english. from now on if you call me by my chinese name, use the chinese characters (安然) or i will go to your house with an axe and murder you and leave your blood on the walls for all to see.

it actually does make me feel uneasy seeing my name as anran. i think the reason is because im really not used to the english pronounciation of it. in chinese you dont pronounce it as an-ran... you pronounce it... i dont know how to explain it but it does get annoying. especially now that i regularly practice conversing in so many different languages i get annoyed when people talk in romonised versions of things. like jap names like hatsune miku being produced as 'hatsuneee' instead of 'hatsunay' or like when people do wrong intonations in chinese/korean it just ticks me off~~ i think im developing some kind of mental disorder... going crazy from learning 3.5 languages at once maybe. :L

i know some basic stuff in korean now yaaay. so i think i might actually pause it in a few months time. tannie and i have worked out everything that i should learn with her and after that im going to help her with her va a little and then we'll both full focus on our yr 11 subjects. for me jap and for her religious studies and music. we've talked so much about subjects these past few days but i think shes making great choices. hope you come online and read this babeeey girl (:

loveyou lots!

oneworldepiphany

2011-07-20T00:51:00.001+10:00

okay i know it's like past midnight but i just got another mindblowing epiphany. about art.

why did i ever stop practising? why did i ever, ever let go of one of my truest hobbies? i look back on whats past of 2011 and i find it quite a waste. i havent made any achievements in art this year and it makes me slightly ashamed. something that i almost lost without realising... i want to now pick it up once again.

i went back on deviantART properly for the first time in a long time today. i began to realise that i really miss my artistic days. its time to turn back. i think this time though, i am going to make some goals and actually make an effort to become a better artist. whereas before, i had experimented in 10 billion different mediums, this time i think i will stick to anime fanart. in the past few years all ive been painting and drawing are people, flowers and landscapes. through that ive gained more experience in controlling the equipment i use but ive noticed that my interests dont wholly lie in painting these types of things. to be perfectly honest, im bad at anime style because im still at my year 7 level. i literally havent done any major anime fanart since then, which you know, compared to acrylic and watercolour paintings... :/

my plans to get back into art will kill me and my time, i know. but i believe its worth it. i dont want to as an adult look back on my life and imagine the artist i could have become. i want to do what i love as a hobby and i will murder anyone who tries to stop me.

soooo, my plans to improve my anime/manga style starts with making at least one sketch a week starting from now. i can still draw chibis okay because ive been doing that on and off between years 8/9. i still really suck at them though because im just so, so rusty. i cant even remember how to properly highlight the eyes anymore. but yes. chibi sketches for a few weeks until i get my "pen feel" back. after that, i am going to invest in a beginner tablet and learn how to cg properly.

the best artists in the world had to start somewhere. i hope i can improve to be able to create my own fanart posters some day. everyone, please support me. <3

embracingthemoment

2011-07-19T22:38:00.001+10:00

when dongho beats his chest in 0330 performances... when kevin sings in english and gives the audience that faltering look... when eli does his pigeoness... don't deny our r²π... reading xanders tweets &&moremoremore... u-kiss making me fall in ♡

afternoon napped today. felt good.

also; if i become influential in ruse anime club next year - i vow to prove gogs wrong and make it awesome x 10000000000. :3

starting by showing blue exorcist/青の祓魔師 (エクソシスト) roflmao :L

你是否知道, 我只能说抱歉♥

2011-07-18T20:57:00.001+10:00

i cried reading this. i havent cried at anything chinese in ages. but then again, this technically isn't chinese. but all good, because its happy cry. :L

Yo, listen up. This is my tragic story, just to break in my heart.

我仍然无法忘记你

一次又一次想起你

我想念你这么多

好吧，我整夜无法入睡

我的心在砰砰的跳雨打在窗户上

你走了，当场

我想念的

好吧，我整夜无法入睡

走出像雨路过你的背部

我不能做任何事情再次

我很抱歉，我每天都在后悔

祈祷I want you to be back

I can't 我不能忍受你

不要站在了一天

我在你眼中的泪水流淌

Again 你可能忘记了

我不知道多久

我仍然无法忘记你

我又想起你

我想念你这么多

我彻夜难眠

我的心在砰砰的跳雨打在窗户上

你走了，当场

我想念的

我彻夜难眠

哦，今晚今晚her

我不知道你整夜是怎么过的

Why did I turn on this love show?

你已经离开我的死亡

我是一个爱的仆人

Why did we fight? 为什么我们的观众他说

Did you lose the sight? 我们喜欢

为什么停在这一刻，我是傻瓜

我只需要你

挂在你的肩膀上

你叹了口气关掉了

打你的胸口

拉着你的手一起向天空祈祷

我可以想象他们会

让我们把那些不好的回忆删除并继续前进

(I'm sorry) 你是否知道

我只能说抱歉

我仍然无法忘记你

一次又一次想起你

我想念你这么多

我彻夜难眠

我的心在砰砰的跳雨打在窗户上

你走了，当场

我想念的

我彻夜叹息难以入睡

Her oh,今晚今晚her

You and I, 等一下，我们变成了

Don't deny our r²π

一切都与我没关系

所有的一切都会重新开始

我彻夜难眠

我仍然无法忘记你

一次又一次想起你

我想念你这么多

我彻夜难眠

关于我敲窗户的声音

你走了，当场

我想念的

我彻夜难眠

found this in my album of pictures. back to school means... maths ):

sweetmelodylemonade

2011-07-14T22:13:00.001+10:00

okay i know i said i was going to blog properly and all but i ceebs because its 10, im tired and want to head up to bed and watch some royal family before zzzz roflmao. ill try and explain best as i can with photos.

basically, ceci and i had an outing today. first we went to hornsby in the morning to watch hp7 pt2 and we were like 5mins late and split popcorn in the cinemas roflmao. liked the movie (it wasn't perfect but it was good) but loved the vmax theatre. leather seats, roomy armrests. for harry potter finale, the $20 was defos worth it.

came back and made hot chocolate + watched a little bit of real school and hello baby together. hot chocolate recipe will be revealed tomorrow on my style diary ^^

then we were late to our inspection by like 2 hours loool. we like had to find out way from circular quay (wth did we get off there grrr) to pyrmont and then to the actually wharf place wow it look so much effort. so much excercise haha but then we finally made it! inspected our beautiful cruise after that, the people were really friendly. everythings basically perfect. ^^

afterwards, we ate at maccas and ceci left. shame we didnt get time to visit the chocolate room and plan stuff like we wanted. ): mum and i was going to go to her uni but before that we bought tonnes of stuff from ses haha. we spent like $75ish which is considerate for ses since the stuff theres all like under $10 roflmao. then went to usyd (victoria park side) and she borrowed some books from the uni's libary. my goodness. usyd is soooooo gorjuss. i was trying to snap some photos but my camera practically doesnt work at night. and the libary is like; HUGE. elevator to all its different floors and the shelves are like O_O i fell asleep for a bit while she was searching the catalogue though; was so tired from the trekking haha.

actually hey, that wasn't too bad a blogpost. i think its far from a lazy effort. :D alrighty then, drama + sleepy time.

foreverbeautifulforeverlove

2011-07-14T00:56:00.001+10:00

went shopping with mum. bought lots of stuff. new u-kiss poster for door; now my door is complete yayay! next up in my wall deco spree: Bible verses. i want to devote a part of my wall to my favourite Bible verses so i can look at them everyday. ♡

proper blog post tomorrow if i can; pinky promise. mini tumblr picspam for now ^^

aneverydaymiracle

2011-07-12T00:21:00.002+10:00

so i was like, marly, trust me, you dont want to go on my kpop tumblr and click the archive button. so like her usual defiant self, guess what she did? well, she went on my tumblr and clicked the archive button didn't she?!!!~~~ *sigh* well im not paying her fees for her psychiatrist and optom. her fault for not listening roflmao.

what? you want to suicide too? ill cut your life even shorter for you then:

http://minyeonglove.tumblr.com/archive

you have been warned.

but heeeey if you're normal why don't you visit my mind and eye friendly main tumblr? uh huh. yup. (:

http://anjellyjoy.tumblr.com/archive

gotta sleep, seriously. i have to pick up my mum from the airport tomorrow. dont want to sleep in hehe.

nanajomnwajwo

2011-07-11T14:49:00.000+10:00

omg funniest thing - so tannie came over for brekky (more on that later) before she went shopping with her school friends. so like, they're sorta like whitewashed koreans. tannie swears they know less korean than i do... and i know like... nothing loool. like, you know the type where even their parents cant speak the language? yup - so the only thing left thats still korean about them is their face and surname. :L i love them though, they're so goofy. ^^ haha yup anyway, because of that they didnt really know much about kpop... or u-kiss... so when i was looking at this picture with tannie on my phone:

they were like... "angela is that your sister? she's really pretty!" and tannie and i looooled soooo hard haha. but this proves two things. one, dongho really is pretty haha. and two, tannie and i look at too much u-kiss stuff.

and the grace is finally, finally back!!!~ love dana and sunday so much and this song is so catchy! the lyrics are really layered in my opinion. like on the surface they're kind of playful and all but i swear there are so many strong hidden messages... but like i think that might be my dodgy interpretation. their voices are still the best on the market. i love the grace so much. ^^

just thought i should let you guys know that i got my daily dose of laughter haha. :L

aroundthemeltingsun

2011-07-11T11:26:00.000+10:00

ive completely changed my mind about this song after the live performance. hyunA is one gorgeous performer. in the mv the costumes, shots and angles did make her look a bit inappropriate but after watching the live performance i realise its not the dance at all. live, she looks really beautiful and really sexy without being slutty. the song is so catchy, hyunA is awesome - the mv was just poorly directed. so im 100% in lovelovelove with bubble pop now. and now i wait, cos haters gon' hate (;

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

久しぶりね

2011-07-10T23:50:00.000+10:00

haha not really i guess, only five days but still, i really havent blogged for a while by my recent standards ey? sorry for neglecting you guys for like almost a week. im really devo right now - i have all these photos of stuff ive been doing and all but they're all on my two phones and i can connect neither of them to the computers that i have at home right now because they're all too pro haha. and like literally too - the first one because it's only compatible with windows xp and the second one i dont even know how since its an asian phone. atm i only have windows 7 pcs and a mac so im waiting for my mum to come back from china because shes got the oldest laptop with her right now with xp on it. this is why i cant wait to get an iphone5. twitter and photos. those are my reasons haha.

so what have i been doing the past few days? lots, and lots, and lots of dnms with friends i havent seen in ages. chillin' in and out. a really fun time at yg hotpot social - kudos to sam for organising because i really wouldve missed the yg peeps in the hols if it werent for it. we played heaps of jungle speed and did a bit of trolling on marcus' fb yet again haha. and lots of random last minute things. like yesterday brandon called me midday and was like hey come city... i was like... what the... loool. i was about to leave for a shopping trip when he called so i had to cut that short a bit but it was worth it because he needed a friend and we had a lot of fun. good catchup as well. i guess i should stop stereotyping baulkos. i should make decisions about friendships based on the individuals themselves. also, i went to play tennis with didi and tree today. didi tweeted me the time wrong so like i got up 10mins before we were supposed to meet up roflmao. i had bed hair literally up until lunch and i was half awake for basically the entire thing. i blame the sun. and they got me to watch bridesmaids with them. it is the weirdest movie ever, filled with crude humour but they thought it was a hoot (despite the fact it was their second time watching it). i didnt regret watching it haha but its not my type of movie - cant help that. =P

i had some random pics on my pc as well but i actually havent turned my pc on in two days (except yesterday for like 30minutes and like literally only to charge my ipod) so ive been doing all my social networking on my phone (thank you phone, though i keep dropping you and hating on you) and right now im on my macbook so loool far away. weird how im so lazy nowadays i even ceebs turning on my computer.

after i finish editing my asian make-up haul video, i will definitely publish the link to my style diary. you guys will hate me because ill seem like a reckless spender but to be perfectly honest, i had to push myself to buy all the stuff haha. i saved up money and still owe my mum a bit. but s'alright. ive got a lot of essentials now so there wont be anymore of this BUYBUYBUY ^^

tannies coming over for brekky tomorrow. she boasts of a surprise for me, so id better get some sleep. shes also checking my korean hw (fingers crossed for me ^^) and giving me more. i think im in a stable and good point in my life right now. a lot of things going to me and im cherishing life a lot. but they say that when periods of time like this come about it and it seems almost too 완벽 (learnt from royal family hehe)... life will turn itself upside down once more. but until then, going to love life and live life... ね? <3

doublestandardsmuch

2011-07-07T19:36:00.001+10:00

haha this comment was from allkpop about hyuna's new video bubble pop... hilarious. (:

Girls try to be sexy:
*Girls" She is a SLUT....urgh.... can't take it anymore
*Boys: She is fucking sexy and hot !

Girls try to be cute:
*Girls: you are FAKE. You think everyone will fall for it ?
*Boys: Awwwww, what a cutie !

Girls try to be normal:
*Girls: So boring! Try to act cute or sexy !
*Boys: She doesn't try to be cute or sexy,she is herself, so attractive

Boys try to be cute:
*Girls: How cute ! Love him already
*Boys: Fucking gay

Boys try to be sexy/manly:
*Girls: How sexy ! Love him even more
*Boys: Still fucking gay

Boys try to be normal:
*Girls: He is so different from other boys. Love him more and more!
*Boys: nahh, he is still fucking gay

Double standard much?

bubblebubblebubblepop

2011-07-06T23:13:00.000+10:00

i love hyuna. i love this song. the mv is provocative to death but its not her fault. its the entertainment companies. so people, get off her back ):

im sure after this they'll learn and wont try anything like this ever again. so nows the time to feel sorry fo hyuna, not full rage at her. =="

yes... anyway. loool.

bingeulbingeulbingeul

2011-07-05T22:56:00.002+10:00

for the first time today, i noticed that dongho's voice in bingeul bingeul is strangely smooth. is it because hes singing half in english? "you are the only oneeeeeee". i love him in the self introduction though haha. and i thought the koreans at church at strong accents. :L its kinda like the first time i heard kevin speak english. mindblown... and the first time i realised how good eli's and xander's english was. mindblown...

top 3 reasons to love kpop? talent, eyecandy, mindbombs... haha... why did that sound so funny in my head? =="

what on earth am i talking about. like, who actually understands me right now besides me? ><

i cant believe i actually filmed something today. i didnt think id ever have the guts to do it but then i realised talking to a camera isnt that hard... making swatch sticks for my new nail polish collection was harder. glueing nail tips onto paddlepop sticks really isnt a joke. but the finished product looks nice. at last... i will never have to remove nail polish because i painted the wrong colour by like half a shade ever again! (:

now, i know i promised photos but whats really annoying is that i cant connect either of my phones to my computer easily because they're both really noob. one cant accept anything but windows xp and one... i dont even know whats wrong with my asian phone. so annoying haha. ive got all these photos just STUCK on there. ):

so to compensate, some luvos instead. sorry, i didnt edit any of them. lazy, hawhaw.

taken in a rush in the morning.

taken after brekky of breadtop bun (:

luvo from friday night (note the drastically messy desk and bed). recycling a mask from a previous masquerade party because i am just that naughty :L loved black and white masquerade social but i think i was pretty out of it that day... ):

hungoversohuntmedown

2011-07-01T23:43:00.000+10:00

lets not talk about reports, but instead, lets talk about life goals and aspirations. perhaps i have never revealed any of this to any of you in the past but i feel like nows the time to do it. here are some things that possibly make me very different to your typical rusian.

one. my goal in life is not to become rich, or even 'financially comfortable' as some people call it. and big news guys, nor do my parents expect me to have this goal. as nice as it would be to have enough money to live comfortably, more importantly in the future i would like to be a person who i wouldn't regret being and in a job i wouldn't regret working in.

two. a consequence of no.1 is that i actually dont care about where i place in the class, where i place in the school, where i place in the world - academically, socially or physically. yeah, that's right. i look at the ranks but they no longer get to me. i feel comfortable with my abilities and even my weaknesses. i make efforts to get better than what i was before, not to get better than everyone else around me. so if i end up placing rock bottom in some subject or failing something completely in future but i tried my best then so be it. as long as the next time i can see that i have taken a step forward then i will be content.

three. i want to learn, not be book smart and heck, there is a difference. i dont really care if i dont get a 'ruse' level atar. i dont really care if i cant do a 'top notch' uni course. why am i in the minority nowadays of people who actually want to learn for the knowledge and not the status or recognition or whatever? and i want to say this really deep thing from the bottom of my heart right now, if i were dying, id rather put my life in the hands of a doctor who wanted to save my life because they wanted to save my life than one who wanted to save my life because they wanted to get paid a lot. the world's too money-driven nowadays, no?

four. i want to be a good influence on the people around me. i want to mature gradually and learn to be a more positive and collected person. i want to be more accepting towards different types of people and also develop a personality that can adapt well to others. this is why i like extracurricular activities, if you havent realised already. i hope to be in a situation in future where i can remind people around me that there is indeed a life after life on earth and that life on earth is like a fleeting grain of sand on a beach.

last. i want to always live life with a set purpose. towards goals, towards achieving things that i want to achieve. i want a life that is worth living every moment of and one that sets me apart from monotonous routines of work for money, work for money. no, not for me. money will always be on the sidelines for me. health, happiness and achievements will come before money on my list any day. i want to keep challenging myself to live the life i want to live.

as you know, one of my biggest current goals is to be multilingual but to break it down a little, i want to have an in depth knowledge of english (duh), a very good knowledge reading/writing mandarin, be able to speak fluently and write a lot of japanese and then to be able to just communicate in korean and write just a little of that as well. i see myself in future going to japan to study the language for a few years, continually studying mandarin and eventually picking up korean properly but the process is uncertain for now... but this is what i am working towards. with these skills, i want to use them in a job that i am confident in... perhaps international law, business, journalism but that is not the important thing right now. unlike many others, i am working towards gaining the skills i want. in future when i have gained those skills, then i will decide what i want to do with them.

i know that ultimately this means huge sacrifices. people ask me things like, but if you do this, you wont be able to achieve your full potential. but what is my full potential? i will only live once. i refuse to spend 20 years studying to achieve a job that i have to work monotonously for 40 years that might earn me a decent amount of money but will leave me at 65 when i have all sorts of diseases and back pains to decide how on EARTH im going to appreciate spending all the stored up cash and looking back on my past without hating myself. i absolutely refuse and that will be the end of it.

so i dare you to ask how i placed in my subjects this semester. i dare you. but if you're smart, you'd just ask me, how did you do compared to last time? did you climb or fall? to which i will say, i fell in the subjects i will admit right now i didnt study adequately in (inevitably) but i improved in the subjects that i made a full effort in. and at the end i feel like i have become more knowledgeable and close to achieving my goals. i am happy because of this, and not because of superior ranking. that is all.

bombaratata

2011-06-30T22:44:00.000+10:00

i think i've found a new pet hate: people who tell you to be quiet when they started the conversation. two nights in a row i have been annoyed at msn/facebook coversations. i wonder why ive been getting annoyed so easily these past few days. *sigh* photos soon.

greenteaandcoffee

2011-06-30T00:26:00.000+10:00

i can't find my lipgloss and eyeliner. i either dropped it in the car or at the dance... or someone stole it... like normally i wouldn't think so but... the lipgloss is rare since i got it online and it is quite pretty and attracts attention and the eyeliner is dollywink, enough said. it'd make sense for them to get stolen i guess, in some ways. but i still think i dropped them. gotta ask dad to check the car tomorrow. if i dont find them, im going to be a little devo. i have back-ups for the eyeliner but not the lipgloss/tint. *sigh* =="

src dance was great! it wasn't as social as usual but the music was +++. still, im missing bday parties of my korean friends. kpop followed by a long night of asian dramas and much girly fun and not so much gossip. perfect, but i havent been to one since march. somebody have their bday soon! haha im so devo now that i missed laura's ):

many many photos to be uploaded soon. all from my phone. of mufti day from some weird day last year, of dongho's mini bday card signing cake party and of src dance and my luvos after the long night. (:

thesweeterthebetter

2011-06-26T21:35:00.000+10:00

i swear. is shin dongho is most handsome guy alive or what?! why is it that every i look at him... *sigh*

okayokay haha. biv was great. went kbbq today with dad and ate well. it's a little strange without mum but oh well. things come and things go.

ill reveal my style diary very soon, since im almost done with it. after that, you can just not pay attention to this place if you want to lessen your dose of dongho and my personal life and just want to focus on the fashiony and styley things that i post :L

it's good to separate these things, or no? =/

therestlesshour

2011-06-24T23:29:00.000+10:00

i dont know whats wrong with me today but like, ive been listening to 0330 non stop for a month but randomly today i cried listening to it for the first time. i bet when i tell tannie she's going to be like "you take a month to react to the song... slow much?". and if you're here to be like all tough and say things like "omg you're so gay who cries at korean songs" haha go away pleaaaaaseeee you're a troll 0330 is the saddest song on the planet. kaythnxbye. (:

gotoarealschool

2011-06-21T23:24:00.001+10:00

real school is so good! seriously didnt expect it to be this good but wow one of the best sitcoms ive ever watched! <3 eagerly expecting next ep. dongho & other noonas fighting! :3

significant events today:

mum left for china but is coming back in a few hours because apparently the flight was cancelled. so shes leaving again... tomorrow. ):
my pen ran out just as i wanted to start my hw. a sign much?
got the brilliant idea of downloading eps of u-kiss vampire and putting them on my ipod. despite the puny screen of my ipod, it will be much appreciated eye-candy at school. yesssss i know i should get an iphone5. we'll see, yup? ^^

too lazy to blog any more than this. not that this is a short blog by normal people's standards... but... i tend to overwrite my blog posts. (;

ja, ne?

doublepostingmuch

2011-06-19T20:20:00.001+10:00

sorry sorry! im back loool. because i just remembered that i didn't upload all of my webcam spam from yesternight.

lol anyway. i know yesterday i said the reason why i didn't post them is because i wanted to edit them but turns out i ceebs editing them after all haha. such a lazy fatass. actually, probably because i want to make more time for stalking kpop and watching "real school". best ksitcom ever. haha no seriously, not just because dongho's in it. (:

anywho. photos, photos.

this one was annoying. i wrote it mirrored but then i realised that my webcam actually auto-mirrors anyway. so then i had to write it again... right way round. ><

junhyung. brandon's favourite from B2ST.

aaaand just me holding his shiny copy of the album which has yet to be claimed and devoured. (;

kay. now i can actually go. loool. whooo real school time! :DDD

sentimentalsweets

2011-06-19T20:13:00.001+10:00

darn kpop. taking my life away from me haha. i made a stupid double helix today for science. omg like it looks like a scrunched up piece of randomness but i spent like an hour on it. *sigh* it was really hard to cut it far out haha.

tannie said to me today: "do you know you're in love with a guy who always makes that 'i-just-woke-up-its-like-3-in-the-morning-wtf-am-i-doing-here-standing-here-and-rapping' face when he raps?" so then i was like nuuuuu way don't you dare talk about dongho like that and then like 10 minutes later after watching 2 recent live performances of 0330 i realised she was right but like it made him look :3. and she's like "oh hey btw. not in a bad way?" so im like >< got angry for no reason roflmao.

i BET she got the idea from this video, i BET. he does seriously look like he just woke up:

and for inexperienced fools of 0330, the most epic balld in the entire history of ballads, dongho makes his appearance at around 1:50 ish. :L

chao! (;

beneaththemilkytwilight

2011-06-18T22:15:00.001+10:00

"Cool story bro, go home." -FROM THIS FANFIC

haha i never expected that line to come up in a fanfic. totally epic. made me laugh so much. went to eastwood yesterday for dinner at a shang restaurant. there was this waitor that seriously looked like kevin from u-kiss. like yeah, he was chinese but still. like there's never been a law thats said chinese people cant look like koreans right? but apparently my mum disagrees. =="

as a segue, i bought 3 new scarves... made in... you guessed it! korea. ==" well, it's winter, so it's appropriate to go all out on scarves and whatnot. and this store near my place is closing down, so ima go out and buy some made in china scarves and beanies when i get the op haha.

i did spam a lot more luvos today, but im not going to post them all because i need to edit one of them for mr. b and i really ceebs. lately, i have been ceebs editing my webcam photos, why? i asked tannie and she's like "it's coz you've been eating too much". it also came up in one of my convos with a girl at tutoring and shes just like "oh its coz you're getting prettier". seriously, the difference between a best friend and an acquantaince totally came out there. best friends are honest and darn hilarious but randoms just make you feel awks by complimenting you with something really cheesy. -endrant-. haha. jks. i appreciate compliments and all but sometimes the obviously fake ones really get on my nerves. its almost as bad as dissing. oh wait, i said -endrant-.

iceteaandcookies

2011-06-16T17:57:00.001+10:00

are yum. hehe. couldn't be bothered to edit the photos. lazy as today. :L

can't believe im watching raising idols only now. i mean yes ive seen it before but back when it came out i was too lazy to watch the whole thing and only watched the key cuts. so now i have to go back to watch the dongho cuts... he's so cute haha. eli's pretty funny as well. even the "mature" members have like a childish side. ^^

shutting up about kpop, ive noticed that my room is actually like a thousand times neater now. in the past month, ive like reorganised literally every corner of my room. so like every bit now is to my satisfaction. awesome. (:

oyasuminasai

2011-06-16T15:45:00.001+10:00

dongho pleaaaaaaaaase sleep earlier haha. your multilingual tweets are seriously taking my life away from me. like before, i only looked at u-kiss tweet updates like once a week on tumblr. but now im like glued to your twitter 24/7 and i get withdrawal symptoms from not being on it because i can understand what you're saying half the time without getting a translator. but then because im on your twitter, i call tannie like 3 times a day and im like "TANNIEEEEEE IM TOO CURIOUS TRANSLATE PLEASE!" and tannie would be like "looool ill translate half of it for you and you can see if you can work out the rest, it will help you learn korean, ne?" and then ill be like "TANNNIEEEEEEE i still dont get it" and lool it was weird because in one of his tweets there was this bit i couldn't understand and tannie was like "oh dw. that's just the korean way of making a barfing noise" and we cracked up so much over the phone. haha dongho. thanks for giving us fun times. ^^ and the rest of u-kiss as well. you've seriously taken k-pop to a new level. if it was just korean, id feel guilty for using tannie. but since you're like so multilingual hawhawhaw... it makes me want to achieve my dreams even more. so ill work hard! (:

loool and i just got up. amazing how much you can sleep when not constricted (crap i need to stop using that word, my english creative writing is like influencing me so much, nowadays all i think about is freedom and violins) by an alarm clock. i feel so much better already. i shouldnt blame myself for getting sick this time, it was like practically inevitable. i had 3 people sick around me constantly for the past week and we kept having to take our clothes off and put them on at zone haha. super cold and rainy days etc. also. and since ive like recovered so quickly, i guess its not my immune system slacking off after all. so im off to eat some stuff, watch a little bit of stuff and then catch up on some STUDY. <3

raindropshittingthewindowofmyheart

2011-06-15T22:25:00.002+10:00

u-kiss 0330 is the single most soul-wrenching song that ive heard in my life. tannie, after talking to her about this song over and over and over again for the past two weeks decided to explain bit by bit of what the song means today over the phone... mentioning things that english translations can never do justice. and seriously, i just can't get the incredible lyrics OUT OF MY HEAD. i can like sort of match up the korean lines to their meanings now in my head so every time i hear the song it's as if i could understand korean. but only for this song haha. and now im stuffed. because all i think about and hear in my head is this song. it's just so... sad. it has officially equalled wedding dress on my list of favourite songs. so now i have two "favourite" songs. it may even surpass. but ive been loyal to wedding dress for two years. so who knows (;

i dont regret getting my fringe but i kinda miss the look of my old hair as well haha. but im happy. because i look at the middle part in my old photos and i can finally laugh my head off because ive gotten rid of it! horrah! :3

&& had really nice conversations with dodo, kelly and sophia today at zone. especially dodo though. now i understand ruse life from the perspective of a front lawn girl. we kept discussing the question of if we were all given fresh starts to rebuild our friendship groups/image etc. where would we be? to be honest, i wouldn't pass off being a front lawn girl. i think they have it nice and peaceful. for me, knowing lots of people and different kinds of people is the huge challenge in my life. i want to balance the amount of people i am close to with the amount of time i should devote to each person that im close to. and for me, its sad to have to say, "for this person, i think they'll just have to stay an acquantaince" because although sometimes id like to get to know them better, making an effort to do so would mean that i would have to sacrifice time with my already close friends. if that makes sense. :3

imissmyfanfics

2011-06-14T18:58:00.000+10:00

omg i so miss my fanfics haha. this made me loool so much. and like out of context, it won't make sense, because everyone (including me) loves dongho, right? (;

"Suddenly, I got a text. Oh no, please, don’t let it be Dongho, don’t let it be Dongho, don’t let it be Do-

Fuck. It’s from Dongho." -FROM THIS FANFIC

soylattes

2011-06-13T04:49:00.000+10:00

dongho, thanks for making me addicted to twitter again. ==" going to spend a thousand nights reading your tweets and asking tannie to translate them for me now.

callmefromthemoon

2011-06-13T01:53:00.000+10:00

actually, i got a phone call from my friend luna today. shes a friend i met randomly at the library when i was young because you know... she's one of those "i have to help them!" type of people when she sees someone in trouble and back then i couldnt speak english that well so she helped me borrow a book. anyway, i guess i cant say i know her that well so i was surprised when she called today. but omg. biggest eye opener of the year... much?

so in my last 4 years, she asked, whats happened? well, i havent changed my phone number i said. thats evident. ive learnt stuff about other people. great. ive tripped and gotten back up countless times. great. and ive studied. a lot. great. and ive had silly crushes on silly boys. one at school. the rest of the 10000+ asian pop idols. great. what's happened in hers?

her friend got raped in year 8 and became pregnant, decided not to abort because of her own morals and so now lives with a child. another friend's brother lost his taste permanently after a car accident. she's been bullied at school before just for being 'different'. meaning that while all the other girls chose to dress inappropriately, she didn't and that got words like "gay, immature and fugly" thrown at her. but through all that, she's remained a christian. and she remembered me.

so like, im not even kidding. ive been so stunned ive paused 0330 just to think about it. and kay ive finally come to a conclusion. im taking two things out of today.

people who dont appreciate you just aren't worth your time. you're damn right luna. forget them, move on! instead of looning over the people who don't care about you, theres plenty to do with those who do care. time spent looning is time wasted.
i have close to the best life in the world but i take it for granted. really, all those times ive thought to myself "why does it have to be me?". ive really really been cruising along. i havent been in any financial or family problems. i have really good friends... everywhere. all different kinds and they all genuinely love me. i dont have to pretend to be anything to fit in or to be appreciated. my friends like me for me and we all have so much fun together. even with a smile on my face, i focus too much on the bad and too little on the good in life.

so i have two things to say to two different people.

well person one, you know what? if you really don't like me, you've made it known. but at last i actually don't really care anymore. im thankful that we never got together. because if we had made it til today, after that phone call we would've broken up anyway. i guess time has really made me wonder why i liked you in the first place because somehow... just like my friends have told me countless times, you dont really fit in with my description of 'my type of guy'. maybe it was a fling after all. a really long and drawn out one. or maybe it was a fling that i was just too scared to let go of because that would've meant i was admitting that i was wrong. still, in the end, i hope one day you will stop judging books by their covers. because that's what you've been doing with me for the past 3 years.

person two, i know deep down you're a good person. otherwise my husband wouldn't be your friend. otherwise some of my favourite people wouldn't be your friend either. and i knew you were just kidding the first time you said it, the second time you said it and even the other day, even when i wasn't even kidding when i was angry with you. im sorry i always come off as a person who tries to delude marcus, one day if you'll let me, ill tell you why. he's my friend, i care for him. as much as you do. and though lately ive become annoyed, deep down still have his interests at heart. hes a genuine person on the inside, so i trust him, as long as he can trust himself. i ask him questions like that so i can remind him. i need to dnm with a few of you. to sort some things out. i cant leave things hanging like this, its too annoying.

p.s. actually, come to think of it, someone else also helped me to indirectly open my eyes. its a little weird but, he made me realise that there are actually really nice boys in this world... who appreciate things that i appreciate, not just sport. and it doesnt make him 'gay' either. like in my eyes, it just makes him seem a lot more mature. like if he fangirled then kay, he's pretty gay. but if a boy just enjoys these types of things, i think he just knows more than one way of having fun, which is really cool to me.

dontdenyourrsquaredpi

2011-06-11T20:31:00.001+10:00

"The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart
...don’t deny our r²π" -U-KISS

i should really stop blogging about kpop. but i cant stop listening to 0330. it's got to be my favourite ballad of all time. i was hooked from the moment i listened to the intro. the first time i heard it, i heard from the middle bit, right up until like 3 seconds after the key change. the person who decided that this 'preview' did this OMGBEAUTIFUL song justice... hoho if i ever see you face to face... you'd better hope you were wearing a bullet proof vest honey.

i love dongho's rap. it's... amazing. haha. and ive always loved kiseop. but he gets like 8 secs of lines. so im pretty disappointed.

met this cute little kid from year 9 this week. feel a bit pedo but he's so cute! like, he's stylish, good at bball, nice and speaks korean in such a cute voice haha. if he was older, id be in love with him (; haha jks jks i ended up dragging two heavy magazines that i dont read home for the second time because of him. wth is with boys and their automatic assumption of "oh a magazine! oh a girl! omg girl, have the magazine!" like what if i dont read the magazine huh? huh? loool. ill forgive him because hes cute. but im not forgiving alex and yilang who made me do it the first time :L

today, i realise that learning korean, japanese and chinese at the same time is fun but wow its confusing. :L oh btw. learning languages and reading are my hobbies now. im not allowed to watch asian dramas regularly anymore. or do anything that isn't 'productive' by my parents standards... but its probably good for me. i failed my half-yearlies so badly... in like... every subject. *sigh* wtvs. ill retain my life once again after yr 12. meanwhile ill just have a life at heart.

maeilnanbappanimameunapa

2011-06-05T19:01:00.001+10:00

listen up! ive got a newwwww kpop LOVELOVELOVE! <3

'tis boyfriend. they are :3

especially jungmin and youngmin and kwangmin haha well they are twins... so i cant like just one... right? :D

but seriously nowadays its so hard to like any of the boys from debuting groups. i mean i seriously think this might be the last year i can do it... maybe not even. THESE BOYS ARE LIKE, MY AGE. ARRRRGH. it gives me the creeps to think about what would happen if i find forbidden love in boys like them next year. haha but i dont think so. i now have beast, shinee and boyfriend on my list. seriously, three is enough. ^^

classicalmusicandfreshair

2011-06-03T21:55:00.001+10:00

my goodness tannie do you want to ACTUALLY blow my mind? okay supposingly fairly well known already (amongst koreans anyway) so maybe im just slow but aaaaah sungha jung! please kill me. like, what kind of kid younger than me can play guitar THAT CRAZY and play piano? and you can totally tell he's going to grow up into the world's biggest hottie. WHY do i not know any guys in real life like that? whywhywhywhywhy. i am so depressed now haha. but really, this kid has so much talent. if i was actually serious about guitar he'd be like my biggest inspiration. he deserves a medal. one word. genius.

so depressed that im listening to haruharu. =="

other than that, ive been listening to a lot of classical music lately. soooo beautiful. ive almost forgotten why i love classical music so much. and speaking of geniuses jervy hou is seriously talented. he learnt to play piano all on his own, without taking a single lesson. seriously.... urrrrrgh

tumblingandturning

2011-06-02T23:59:00.002+10:00

sometimes, it honestly just feels like nobody in the world cares and nobody takes me seriously. but i am serious. about him anyway.

tiemedownandlockmeout

2011-06-01T22:53:00.000+10:00

"...but please don't love me"

i don't know why but... i went city in the arvo with brandon and his friend and watched them play pool. we didnt even have dnms or anything but on the way back i starting thinking about really deep stuff. like the way different peoplet treat other people and the way some guys just get gfs for fun and its all okay until that girl is your friend or worse, yourself.

but like during that one hour train trip i couldnt help but think about him. i just felt so... sore. part of me wanted to see him at the station when i made my way there... thinking, hes always there, so why not today? i think its been like this since day one and its only gotten worse. the smallest things remind me of him, no matter how hard i try to forget him and it seems that everything in the end comes down to him. and there are just so many "what ifs..." in my head. it hurts because it still feels like he's the first guy i was ever serious about. it hurts because he wants the exact opposite of what i want. it hurts because its stupid going after him but it hurts because i cant let him go. in fact,

i dont think, from the day we met, ive gone a day without thinking about you. im already counting the days we have left and wondering about whats its going to be like without you here. maybe ill forget you when you're not here but from past experiences, when you're not there i just miss you more. honesty, i just wanted to forget you and let you go so i wouldn't be in your way anymore. i tried so so hard but i dont think i can lie to myself anymore. i still like you to the ends of the earth, as much as i did two years ago, last year and on the day you said no. the only difference this time i guess... ill be keeping it to myself. its better if you didnt know. why does it feel like ive ruined so much of your high school life?

cluckcluck

2011-05-30T00:27:00.000+10:00

so i put this chicken as a watermark in my chick trial report. かわいいね？:3

今日は、日本のドラマを見ってだ。　だから、十二時半にねるよ。

loooool. okaaaaay. should really stop watching so many jdramas though. affecting my life. i like sometimes think in jap now its へんよ！　

aaaah.... yes.... =="

my room is pretty amazing now. its like a lot more spacious now for some reason. after moving all the furniture im like in a better mood whenever im in my room, its great. also a great chance to re-deco. im ridding of all the dodgy looking stuff on my wall and replacing them with like nice looking and inspirational stuff. much needed when doing maths.

all my love now on my list of dramas to watch. cept i dnno, im pretty attached to jdramas atm. kdramas are nice for eye candy sure, but they do tend to get more sleezy and cliche than jdramas. i love the fun of jdramas. sooooooo we shall have a balance, no? (;

nevertheless

2011-05-20T22:52:00.001+10:00

evidently somebody got their hair permed (;

loljks. it was just my GHD doing all the work. testing out what i actually look like with a head full of loose curls. im really, really glad it's not making me change my mind at all. otherwise i would've been like so GRRRR. it looks a little odd atm but its because it's fallen out a little from the original curls (probably should use stronger/more hairspray next time) and also because there's no fringe yet? i like did the fringe test and omg it actually looks fob so yesyesyes defos getting it done now :D and shush. im cleaning up my room (and moving all the furniture) on sunday (:

factorfiction

2011-05-19T20:07:00.000+10:00

please dont kill me, but im blogging about beast and a new song, yet again. :3

apparently the music you're not fully obsessed with, but like, are the ones that will stay with you forever. and like, im not obsessed with beast, and that's me being perfectly honest. i was obsessed with NEWS at one stage, and sorta Owl City and yeah i guess i dont like either that much anymore. but i dont think ill like beast forever either. like, of course id lovelovelove to but i cant help but be realistic and think, omg when im like 50 if im still listening to this kind of music then seriously... beat me.... looool.

BUT WHILE I AM IN MY TEENS I REFUSE TO STAY AWAY FROM BEAST. FULL STOP. <3

this song has a really beautiful melody for a catchy and rhythmic song. (oops, gotta stop before i start analysing it musically loool) but i really love its uniqueness. and the lyrics are pretty deep. and like just the concept. its not just like open symbolism but an original and deeper one so im really in love with both the song and mv. the first time i heard it i thought my thoughts on it would be "meh" but after listening to it 5 times it's fully my favourite song from beast. love. love. love. ^^

I’m the writer who lost his purpose
The end of this novel, how am I supposed to write it
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I keep writing these 3 words
Everything is Fiction
Setting the warn out pen on the old paper strained in tears
Everything is Fiction

chosetobeorchosetosee

2011-05-16T18:08:00.000+10:00

yes. the title is a reflection of my guessing of multiple choice questions in the maths exam. roflmao.

mymy, cows, marine, life and citrus... my life may seem exciting but in reality....

microwaveable beef stew. tuna. madarin. all set to full tank/cram a night of geo and science. =="

shewhoblogsthemostduringexamweek

2011-05-14T22:09:00.000+10:00

sometimes, you've got to let go to see if theres anything worth holding onto <3

honey, thiswintercouldturnbeautiful

2011-05-14T20:45:00.000+10:00

you know what really sucks? the walk home from the libary. freezing cold. ):

and yeah. that. exams. >=(

so like. winter man. coming up right? like lol, not even.... its like ages away. but wtvs feels like it! =O

wish we could have some more snowysnowsnow ):

eeeeeeye. gotta wear so many layers in winter. annoying as. but coats/scarves/beanies/gloves are love (:

and like jay chou... marry me now? ha. jks. he has a gf. *sigh* :L

so does it help when im fob to attract fob guys...? hmm i wonder haha.

doing asian poses when i dont even look fob is so weird... but a good timekiller (;

some day soon i will be fob looking. so you better have your blindfolds ready for 'dem luvos ay? (;